Four Things a Husband Should Do for His Wife

Posted on August 28, 2014 by justeeni

Today Dan and I are celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary. Dan took a few days off of work, and, as I mentioned in the last post, we have a lot of fun planned. So, I’m not making any promises about when the next update will come. In the meantime, I’d like to celebrate this fourth anniversary by sharing four things my husband does for me, four things every husband should do for his wife.

He loves me.

I have a problem. We call it the “goldfish syndrome” and I’ve read enough marriage books to know I’m not the only wife who has it. No matter how creatively, lavishly, romantically, or frequently Dan tells me he loves me, I forget.

It’s not always that I forget. The problem is really that I stop feeling loved and so I start to believe I’m not. Or sometimes I know that Dan loved me…at one time, but what if it changed? What if he stopped? So Dan has his work set out, but he is constantly, faithfully, patiently reminding me of his love for me.

He leads me.

I really enjoy having Dan as a leader in our home. It has become my second nature to ask his opinion on everything. Picking out fabric for Abby’s quilt? I asked Dan’s opinion. (He picked out the backing) Trying to figure out a new schedule? Ask Dan. Feeling like I’m doing a bad job at keeping a home and raising the girls? Go to Dan and get some input.

But it’s not just when I ask that Dan leads. He leads us in so many areas of our lives.

Spiritually – he reads the Bible to us after our meals and prays with me every night before we go to sleep
Financially – he earns us a living even on days when he would rather do anything but go to work
Emotionally – he holds it together when everything else seems to be falling apart
Decision Making – he always gets the final say, although he appreciates my input, he’s not afraid to make the call
As a Dad – Dan doesn’t just leave me to raise our kiddos. Even when they are less than four pounds and growing in an isolette in the NICU, Dan is a present and loving father (and a really good one too)

There are so many ways Dan is a leader in our home, I couldn’t list them all if I tried.

He helps me.

Maybe if I was perfect I could do it all. Manage and keep a beautiful home (all the time). Teach and train the girls. Feed and diaper the baby. Clean and fold laundry. Plan and cook meals. Keep track of our budget and all our finances. Correspond with friends and relatives. Plan doctor visits, vacations, and dates. Exercise and get plenty of rest. Even while kids are sick, babies aren’t sleeping, and we live in transitional sorts of places.

Since I’m not perfect, I can’t do it all by myself, and even when I seem to be accomplishing a lot, I’m known to have occasional break downs. But Dan doesn’t expect me to be perfect or self-sustaining. He helps me do my job as I help him do his. We’re spouses, but we’re also partners, teammates, and friends.

He spurs me on.

Dan and I first started talking at a time when I was discouraged and far from home, but learning good things from God. He started emailing me once in a while to encourage me, pray for me, and ask what God was doing in my life. My God’s grace, Jesus has stayed the center of our relationship through all of the transitions and changes over the past four (plus!) years. Dan is the one I go to first with my Bible questions, thoughts, and troubles. We pray together and seek God together. He’s my husband, and he’s my leader. He’s my helper and my friend, but he’s also my brother in Christ and always will be.

The Perfect Wedding Cake

Posted on August 26, 2014 by justeeni

When Dan and I started planning our wedding, we had no idea what we wanted for a wedding cake. A friend of ours had experience at making cakes and was eager to help us with ours. So, we scheduled a meeting. The four of us all sat down together: my Mom, Dan, the cake-maker, and myself. As we began talking we realized we didn’t really have any idea what we wanted.

“It should be white.”

“Should there be some purple in it?”

“I like ribbons…”

“Flowers are nice”

After only a few minutes we decided to reschedule another meeting after we had come to a more concrete idea of what we actually wanted. Weeks passed and we put very little thought into the cake. Our meeting arrived and we sat down and essentially designed our cake on the spot.

“White. With swirls, I like swirls on the sides.”

“How about some roses?”

“What flavor? What filling?”

In a very half-hazard way, we designed our cake. It was three tiers, all white with swirls on the sides and roses lining the edges. They were small at the top and grew larger at the bottom. There would be a raspberry filling in the middle because that’s what sounded good at the time (and it was conveniently close to purple).

The only part of the cake I was sure about was the cake topper. I had picked it out myself early in our engagement and everyone gave their approval. Apart from the topper, I had almost no idea if the cake would even look decent…or wedding-y.

I remember the first time I saw the cake. It was morning, and sky was perfectly clear as I walked through the parking lot and into the gym where are reception was going to be. It must have been the day of the wedding, so all the decorations were in place. The gym was a sea of white with purple accents and delicate white roses were scattered everywhere. In the middle of the gym was a round table, and there on a small platform, was our wedding cake.

It was perfect. I couldn’t have designed a better cake for our wedding and for us if I had actually known what I was doing. The cake was simple, beautiful, elegant, and it even tasted delicious.

Sometimes our marriage feels a lot like our wedding cake. Dan and I each came into it with our own ideas of what it should look like. We had plans that failed, expectations that have never been fulfilled. There were probably only two major things I was sure of when we got married:

1) Dan was the man I wanted to marry.

2) Jesus was the center of our relationship and we wanted Him to stay there.

I guess Jesus is a bit like our cake topper. He stays, but anything else can change (and most other things have changed). Marriage has held so much that we never expected. School changes. Job changes. Babies…early babies! Those crazy newborn months. And housing changes (and more and more housing changes). Sometimes our whole lives feel a bit disorganized. Sometimes they feel chaotic or downright out of control. But ultimately, Jesus is at the center of our marriage, and God is the one creating and perfecting our story. God is our marriage “cake-maker”.

Often we just see the messy cake-making process. But sometimes we get a little glimpse into the beauty that God is perfecting. This Thursday Dan and I will celebrate four years of marriage. Four years of chaos and four years of trusting Jesus.

We’re going to celebrate by having an extended weekend packed full of fun and friends and a nice, long date. So there will be updates and pictures and lots of sharing up ahead, but for now I’m just reflecting on the goodness of our God and the sweet results a marriage receives when Jesus is at the center.

Love, Laughter, and Bloopers

Posted on August 21, 2014 by justeeni

Last week I took the girls outside for a brief photo shoot before posting Abby’s latest update. Lydia wanted to be in on the fun, so I took pictures while the girls played together. It was sweet. Afterward I realized that I had taken some pretty funny pictures, and some cute ones too.

Mind if I share?

Few things make my heart happier than watching these two talk to each other, play together, and just love on each other.

Sometimes I’m not sure they’re BOTH enjoying themselves.

And sometimes I KNOW they’re not both enjoying themselves.

Sometimes they just need some alone time.

Sometimes bad things happen when I’m not around.

But these two forgive quickly. Then they’re back to sharing secrets.

Maybe I was just in a wedding mood, but this one reminds me of bridal party shots where all the girls are talking and laughing. Don’t grow up too fast girls!

Maybe we can duplicate this one at the a wedding too. 🙂

Abby has a tendency to bite fingers, eat faces, and poke people in the eye.

And sometimes she just won’t smile.

I love my girls. And all our squishy selfies too.

Sunflowers and Music Notes

Posted on August 19, 2014 by justeeni

This weekend our family had the privilege of attending the wedding of Peter and Rachel, a young couple from our church. Everyone, even Lydia, has been looking forward to this wedding for months (just days for Lydia, actually) and we weren’t disappointed.

Peter and Rachel is that they both grew up going to the same church. They knew each other for years, but only as friends. Independently they sought God about marriage and both became certain they were to marry each other without ever talking to anyone else about it. When Rachel was deciding what to do after high school, Peter decided it was his time to step in and start a relationship. Both families were in favor so Peter asked Rachel to begin a courtship. They continued to read the Bible, pray together, and seek the Lord’s leading and their parents’ guidance all the way up to engagement and their wedding day. And the Lord blessed their faithfulness with a happy courtship and relatively smooth wedding planning. They are a great couple with a great story. (Peter and Rachel, we just love you guys!)

So anyway, the wedding. There was a lovely ceremony followed by an equally lovely, strolling reception. We talked with old friends, made new friends, and everyone had a happy time. So, without further adieu…

Dan tells me people don’t really watch the bride walk down the aisle. They glance at the bride and than watch the groom for his reaction.

The maid of honor was Rachel’s sister, and our Pastor happens to be the groom’s dad.

Congratulations Peter and Rachel! It was such a joy to share in your wedding day and to watch your love story unfold. God bless you both and your new marriage!

Abby Update: 11 Months Old

Posted on August 14, 2014 by justeeni

In the past few weeks Abby has really gotten the hang of sitting up. Mostly she just sits in this propped up position until she wants to get somewhere else, than she just plops down onto her tummy. She’s still not crawling, but she can get anywhere she wants to go pretty quickly by rolling around.

When she’s crawling around, Abby will put anything in her mouth. We have to watch her pretty carefully to make sure she’s not eating dirt, grass, rocks, bugs, hair…you name it. Lydia is a pretty handy helper, always willing to run and get Abby a toy that she can put in her mouth.

Solid foods are coming along slowly. Sometimes when we’re eating a meal Abby refuses to eat what we give her. Other times she jabbers away angrily until we share some of our food. Her favorites right now are cooked broccoli and raw bell peppers, and she absolutely refuses avocado (and gives us a nice face to let us know how terrible she thinks it tastes).

Unlike her big sister, Abby’s first word is “mama” and she says it anytime she’s hungry, wants Mommy, or right after she wakes up from a nap.

She loves attention and she loves playing with or being tickled by her big sister. It doesn’t look like Lydia’s going to be the “big” sister much longer because Abby is catching up. When I was taking pictures of them together this morning I was surprised at how close they are to being the same size already.

She’s a delight in our home. There’s nothing like seeing her smiles and hearing her jabber away. Here’s a little video of her smiles and giggles. I hope they brighten your day like they brighten mine.

Happy Things

Posted on August 12, 2014 by justeeni

There are some days when I struggle to think of a good, picture-worthy blessing to be thankful for. Lately, that has not been the case.

After writing Wednesday’s blog (on Tuesday afternoon), Dan emailed me with news about another house. On Wednesday evening we went to look at it, already almost certain this would be ours. By Friday we had filled out the paperwork to put in our offer, it was accepted, and suddenly we’re on our way to having a home of our own. As things fall into place, I plan to share more about how God brought everything together for us.

Also on Wednesday, Lydia started to figure out potty training. It’s a work in progress, but now it really is a work in progress. This is making all three of us so happy. (Abby doesn’t know what all the fuss is about).

On Sunday, we packed up a picnic and met up with my parents and brother on their way back home from vacation. After lunch, my mom took Lydia over to the playground while Dan and I chatted with my dad about their vacation.

It was good to see them again, especially after such exciting times with the housing (and potty training).

And I’m only days away from finishing the front of Abby’s quilt and moving on to the actual quilting step. I thought this day might never come.

Today is a drizzly day outside but here in this home we are overflowing with blessings. I just wanted to share a little of that overflow this afternoon.

The Great House Hunt

Posted on August 7, 2014 by justeeni

You probably already know that Dan and I are in the midst of shopping for a house. It has been a long road so far, sometimes exciting, often disappointing. At the time I am writing this we have gone with our realtor to look at 22 different houses, two of them twice. We’ve driven by more homes and opted not to go look at them for one reason or another. We’ve hearted and starred and saved more homes online whose prices were too high or homes that we thought we might go see in the future. Today I thought I would give you all a glimpse into our housing hunt so far.

I remember the first home Dan and I liked. We had just gotten pre-approved for a mortgage and both of us noticed this cute little home go up for sale. We booked a visit and waited. The family got sick and we had to reschedule. The day before our appointment someone made an offer on the spot and the sellers accepted. So we never did get to see that cute, little house.

A few days later this charming home came on the market. We called our realtor and got to go see it that night. We prayed and prayed on the way to see the house, not wanting to rush anything. We loved it. The neighborhood seemed perfect, the house was move-in-ready, and the fenced-in back yard had a gate that opened up to soccer fields and a walking trail behind the neighborhood. That night we Skyped Dan’s parents and decided to make an offer. Later we found out that we got beat out by someone else who had made the same offer, but with cash.

Oh was that disappointing.

A few days later another home came up that was in the same neighborhood. It needed a little work, and it wasn’t as nice, but we jumped on it. Someone else offered way more than the asking price and we lost that one too.

So the search continued. We looked at a few more. Eventually we found another ranch in another neighborhood that was a little less nice. The house was beautiful though and also move-in-ready. We made an offer and heard back that night, “Is that as high as you can go?”. There was another offer. So we raised our offer a little, but the other offer was “way higher” and we lost that one too.

So our search has continued. There have been two other homes we’ve really seriously considering offering on, but decided not to for various reasons.

Some homes have been in bad locations.

Some have had no yard.

Some have had damp basements. Some were too close to highways or busy roads and the noise was unbearable. Some have smelled damp or moldy. Some have been cheaply redone and were overpriced.

And so, 22 houses later we are still on our housing search. Every day was ask God to give us the right home, at the right price, in the right time (and that the right time would be soon!). We have a few on our radar right now and I am confident that we will be in a home of our very own…someday.

Munchkin Update: 3 Years, 2 Months

Posted on August 5, 2014 by justeeni

Lydia is in to collecting things. She collects rocks, leaves, and flowers from outside. Sometime she keeps them in her pocket and sometimes she pretends one of the rocks is her cell phone. She also tends to collect purses. And tutus. Right now the tutu count is up to four.

A few days ago Lydia pulled the blanket off of her bed and rigged a “swim suit” out of a couple of tutus. One of her favorite games now is to put on that “swimsuit” and go “swimming” in her bedroom. If anyone is friendly enough to join her she really likes to get in and out of the “water” and dry off with a blanket each time before jumping back in.

She is all go, all the time. And if you ask her, she will tell you that she is never tired. For the past few months now she has been in a “why” phase. Her response to almost everything is “why”. Often she genuinely wants to know, sometimes she does it to be silly, and sometimes it’s just out of habit. This morning I was folding laundry and Lydia asked me if I would go “swimming” with her. I told her I could after I finished folding laundry and washing dishes.

“Why?”

“So we have clean clothes to wear and clean dishes to eat off of.”

Her answer was insightful: “So they will get dirty again?”

Lately Lydia has memorized the books of the New Testament and a large portion of scripture put to song for our Church’s Vacation Bible School. Dan and I also realized that we were emphasizing a lot of numbers and shapes with her, so I decided to start teaching her the alphabet.

Every morning I pull out some magnet letters and we play with them. Big A and Little A are on our fridge right now along with Big B and Little B. They tell Lydia what sounds they make and sing the ABC song. It’s sort of like a little puppet show every day and she loves it.

Lydia is always my big helper. If I let her help me make dinner or wash dishes, she’s thrilled. She’s happy go get a clean diaper for Abby or throw away anything we say can go in the trash. She’s also as sweet as can be and frequently asks us to hold her or sing with her. Sometimes she spontaneously comes up and says, “I love you Mom”. We love her spunk and her energy and her silliness, but more than that we love the sweet hearted helper that she is and her precious sensitive heart.

MI Taylor Family

We live in Michigan.

Monthly Archives: August 2014