AbbyGirl Turns Six

Last month, we celebrated six years of having Abby in our family.

Our Abby has always lived life in extremes.  She was born extremely early, went through major ups and downs during her first months with us, and has continued her roller coaster into her elementary years.  When she’s happy, she beams.  When she’s mad, she’s furious (sometimes so much so that she forgets why she was angry in the first place).  When she laughs, she belly laughs like no one else.  When she hugs, her hugs are tight.  She loves life deeply.


Along with living her life in extremes, Abby is just a little bit crazy.  She’s a bundle of energy and is ready to start running, rolling, and playing hard the moment anyone will join her.  I’ve noticed lately that I can’t let Abby be the one to hold Hannah right after a nap or right before bed, because Abby gets others wound up and doesn’t know how to “settle down”.  She’s full of fun and laugher and silliness that she can’t always manage to turn off when we ask her to.


This makes Abby a terrific team player.  She joins right in with enthusiasm.  She’s also very good with younger children.  Abby is my go-to girl when I need someone to help Elijah or play with Hannah.  In fact, she has started fighting with others when they get to hold Hannah, and, even when I don’t need someone to hold her, Abby often asks.  She’ll also keep her brothers entertained, “read” to them, or sing songs (sweet ones and silly ones).





One way that Abby has surprised me this year is academically.  Lydia has always been so quick to pick up on things without me directly teaching her.  Abby…not so.  With Abby I will walk through something step-by-step for days before she gets it.  I thought this might be a struggle in school, but it turns out, Abby just learns differently than Lydia.  She loves workbooks, flash cards, and repetition.  She is very visual and struggles immensely if you give her verbal directions or read something to her without pictures.  But, put a visual in front of her, make up motions for a song, or show her the letters to a word, and she has no trouble at all.  I noticed it first in how well she’s been doing with reading lessons – even in only five minutes a few times a week, and while she’s basically rolling around on the floor or standing on her head because this girl just cannot sit still, she’s still taken off with reading above her age level.  I noticed it again during Camp Tikva when Abby mastered the motions to the memory song by the second day, even though it took her almost the whole week to learn the words.

Another way Abby has surprised me this year is by how observant she’s become, especially while we’re driving.  We visited a large park several times this summer, and one day we were trying to get there from a different direction than usual.  I missed my turn but thought I was on the right track, when Abby started arguing with me that I was going the wrong way.  After a few minutes, I realized she actually knew what she was talking about, and I had her tell me how to get back to the park.  I’m terrible with directions when driving, so this has turned out to be incredibly helpful.  She’s also really good and finding lost items.  Everyone else will be wandering around with no idea where to look and she’ll run into a room and spot the lost thing instantly.


One thing that has not changed in the past year is Abby’s love for pigs.  She has three stuffed pigs now, and sleeps with them every night.  They are her most treasured toys.  Although, Abby loves to latch onto anything new that comes into the house.  At any moment, you could search her backpack to find all sorts of interesting “treasures”.  This has proved a bit of a challenge to my tendency toward minimalism, when, every time I bring in a piece of junk mail, Abby asks if she can have it to keep forever.



Lydia and Abby don’t have an easy time getting along. They are just about as different as can be, personality wise.  They share a room and are always in each other’s space.  Lydia is an extrovert, Abby an introvert.  Still, they spend so much time together that they are becoming each other’s best friends.  It’s cute to watch them play.  Lydia makes up something to pretend and literally dictates to Abby what to do and say, word by word.  They come up with all sorts of little games.  The interests they do share are ballet, dressing up pretty, and spending time with their favorite teenagers at church.  They also have to deal with their two tougher little brothers, which is turning out to be quite a bonding experience.



Abby is incredibly helpful.  As long as she’s not overtired or pulled away by something really exciting, she loves to be my helper, especially while I cook.  She used to run around gathering ingredients for me, but now she has graduated to being my salad chopper and veggie peeler.  She loves those chores and will sometimes cry if she finds out I did them without her.  Whenever I need someone to do something, she is usually the first one to jump up and run off to be my helper.

This year I’ve realized that Abby’s love language is physical touch.  She loves gifts, treasures them for as long as she can keep them in her backpack, but this kids needs her snuggles.  After anything unpleasant, or if she’s feeling sleepy, Abby will quietly sneak up behind me and lean on my arm.  Or she’ll put her hand on my shoulder.  When I was pregnant, she would offer to “pet my head” while I was laying on the couch not feeling well.  And she will still quietly reach up and hold my hand if we’re walking next to each other.



Days aren’t always smooth when you run through a roller coaster of extreme emotions: very sleepy, super hungry, eager for the day, bored with school, passionately not tired enough to nap, too exhausted to do anything after not taking a nap, excited to hold Hannah, disappointed not to help peel carrots…but at the end of each day, as I reflect on everything that happened and how Abby’s handled it all, the word that sums Abby up is simply: Sweet.  And in my head, I see her with her messy, curly hair belly laughing and lighting up the whole room.

Lydia Turns Eight

It has been eight years since Lydia surprised us by coming two months before her due date, and in those eight years, she has not ceased to keep us on our toes!  Our Lydia is so much passion and energy, love and excitement rolled up into one sweet little bundle, and we all had a blast celebrating her birthday.

Lydia is very bright.  She’s always been a step ahead of me, it seems. This will serve her well for most of her life, at least her adult life!  Although, it certainly does make homeschooling a challenge when she dreads anything repetitious.  I’m constantly brainstorming how to keep things new for Lydia, and Dan and I have given up trying to “talk over her head”.  When we need to discuss something she doesn’t need to hear, we can’t spell or use high-level vocabulary.  We just have to send her from the room.  I can’t even count the number of times we wanted to surprise Lydia with something fun – like going out for ice cream, but on the way there she would exclaim, “Can we get ice cream?!?”.  Thankfully, she’s not one for surprises, likes getting exactly what she asks for, and is happy whenever anything is special.

In fact, our family has a saying that Lydia loves anything “new, exciting, and different”.  When I cook a new meal, she raves about it (until we have leftovers).  When we visit someone’s house, everything is amazing, no matter how big or small, old or new, as long as it’s different from our home.  When we ask Lydia to set or clear the table, she undoubtably goes for the heaviest dish, or the least used utensils.  During chores, we are constantly reminding her to do the old, boring things first.  “If it seems interesting, you probably shouldn’t be doing it”.

She’s definitely a dreamer. Lydia is constantly coming up with new ideas for activities, crafts, or inventions.  The other day she asked me if it would be possible to run a power line to the moon, then send tanks of oxygen to pump into a house so we could live there.  I’ve given up answering all of her questions and have learned to aim them back at her, “Would you want to live on the moon?”  She told me she wouldn’t because it wouldn’t be very colorful.

Lydia has an eye for beauty and I’m just waiting for the day this is going to bless our family in a million ways.  She will be my party planner, my decorator, and my tidy-up-er (one can only hope).  When she’s supposed to clean something, she undoubtably will get distracted making one area look especially beautiful, blissfully ignorant of the mess around her.  She’s a bit absent-minded in her beauty-making these days, leaving trails of messes as she paints, picks flower bouquets, sets up pretend princess rooms, and usually ends up curled up in some cute little spot she created, reading a book.

You might not have expected it if you sat in on one of her reading lessons a couple of years ago, but Lydia loves to read.  She can devour a chapter book in one sitting.  I can hardly keep up with her as I get books from the library.  Often, we pick up books on Saturday, and Lydia has exhausted the stack by Sunday afternoon.  This does make some parts of school incredibly easy.  History?  If I don’t get to it, it won’t matter.  She’ll have read all ten books about Thomas Edison in a day and know more than Dan or me.

When she’s not reading, Lydia loves to be the planner.  When the girls play wedding, ballet, or any other form of dress-up, Lydia will spend more time setting up and planning than actually playing.  Abby is always the one dressed up, while Lyds is the one dressing her up, pretend-doing her nails or make up, creating a hairstyle, putting together the outfit, and telling Abby just what to do.  She loves to play with others, and having people over to our house is almost as good as Christmas.  She’s never been one for a lot of toys, but prefers fun activities and “real” things she can use or do.

Lydia is passionate and energetic, but she also has a sweet and soft side to her personality.  She has always been very sweet and forgiving.  She can’t stand to see anyone in any sort of pain.  She is quick to be the one offering comfort, especially to very young children.  Her intense personality and sensitive nature rule out any future in emergency care though.  The moment any kind of “emergency” arises, Lydia becomes completely overcome in her sympathy and goes frantic.  She cries out, runs in circles, and can’t think straight.  It might be a real emergency (like the time Elijah choked and had to go to the hospital) or it might not be (“Dad!  There’s a car over there!!! … Oh, I thought we were going to hit it.”), but the reaction is the same and I am forever reminding her that the best thing to do in an emergency is to stay calm.  Another guideline we have for Lydia is, “slow and steady”.  For her whole life, when I ask her to do something more quickly (she likes to take a long time doing almost anything), she starts breathing faster, fumbling, and accomplishing things more slowly.  We remind her of the “Tortoise and the Hare” and to go “slow and steady” to get things done more quickly.

For her birthday, Lydia wanted to dress up and play princess (with Mommy!), watch the ballet she put on this spring, and have a vanilla layer cake with pink whipped cream, raspberry filling, and flowers on the top (I did my best!).  She wanted to have friends over one night and grandparents over one night, and a special meal on her actual birthday.  She wanted a toy violin and a tiara and a new dress or her doll.  And, knowing our Lydia likes to get exactly what she imagines, that’s pretty much how her birthday went.

Lately she has been asking me throughout the days, “Mom, are you having fun?”.  She was thrilled when we played princess together and I told her I was.  She knows I get stressed out a lot in my “mom duties” and she’s compassionate enough to avoid stressful situations to see a happy mommy.  Yes, celebrating Lydia’s birthday was very fun.  Having Lydia in our home is very fun.  Our family would not be as exciting, energized, informed, or interesting without her.

We love you Lyds!  We cannot wait to see what the next year holds for you!  Happy eighth birthday!

Lydia at Seven


This May, Lydia turned seven.


Almost three months have snuck by because 1) I had some technical issues with the blog and computer, and 2) these (5!) kiddos keep me busy. But here’s an update on our Little Miss Lydia as a seven-year-old.


Lydia is spunky, energetic, sweet, fun, outgoing, enthusiastic, inquisitive, sensitive, persistent, and observant. She loves to do fun things, eat good food, and be with people all the time. She observes everything around her, picks up on others’ conversations, and asks a ton of questions. She learns quickly, eagerly tackles new projects, and loves looking forward to things.


Lydia is a people person. She loves activities where we get to be with people: church, Bible study, gymnastics lessons, open houses, camping trips, dinner dates, babysitters, and the list could go on. Once a week, Dan takes one kid out on a daddy-daughter or daddy-son date for some one-on-one time. Lydia loves it because it’s something to look forward to, she gets to be with Daddy, and she gets a treat.


Maybe this goes along with being a people person, but Lydia is extremely verbal. Last year we took a trip to Toledo and Lydia literally talked the whole way there. She told stories, sang songs, and occasionally asked a question, but didn’t usually wait for an answer. When she gets excited, she talks more (gets that from her mom). Lydia already knows a lot about the difference between being an introvert and extrovert (because we’re opposites) and she knows how to give me space when I need it. But, when I’m up for it, Lydia always appreciates doing one more thing together, hearing one more story, or getting one more (long) snuggle.



Lydia is a sponge. This year she’s taken off on her reading and will read anything she finds lying around. For a day or two after we visit the library, we can hardly get her to do anything other than devour every single book we brought home. Then she asks me to read them to her too. She loves to read to me and she loves when I read to her. She’s also been learning piano (via hoffmanacademy.com) and she does extra math practice for fun (via khanacademy.com). She asks tons of questions. In fact, I started keeping a list of her questions. Once a week, during school, we learn all about all the things she wants to know. My current list includes: windmills, food born illnesses, branches of the military, how to play chess, how bikes work, how toilets work, ants, state versus federal politics, and our family history. I don’t come up with these ideas. They really come straight out of her mouth.



Lydia is a ball of energy. Maybe that’s obvious from what I’ve written so far. Looking back over the past few paragraphs leaves me feeling tired (and she’s not even with me right now!). But Lydia is also incredibly sweet and forgiving. She hates to be separated from others physically or emotionally. Sending her to her room is torture, telling her she can’t go to an activity is worse, and having a broken relationship with someone is the worst of all. She has a strong, but soft heart, and it hurts her to see others sad.


It is amazing to look back at Lydia’s life, all the way back to her first days in the NICU, and see her personality shine through from Day One. God has given us a precious gift in this little seven-year-old, and we are looking forward to see where He takes her in the years ahead.

Abby’s Fourth Birthday

This month, Abby turned four.

So let me tell you all who our Abby-girl is.  She is the most enthusiastic, life-loving little girl I’ve ever known.  I’ve said it before and I’ll probably say it again and again for the rest of our lives, but Abby is an extremist. When she’s happy, she beams.  When she’s disappointed, the world IS ending.  Her meltdowns are epic.  Her naps are deep.  And when she wants to be loud, she’ll hurt your ear drums.

Abby had to get some shots recently.  Imagine a small room in a doctor’s office.  Abby is curled up on my lap with tears in her eyes.  Lydia is sitting next to us, covering her ears and singing (loudly) a made-up song about how everything is going to be ok.  The nurse is quietly singing Abby a little song about what she’s doing.  It’s not actually time for the shot yet, but Abby is curled up tightly on my lap, clutching her favorite stuffed pig in one hand, and screaming at the top of her lungs.  She continues to scream, even when I tell her it’s not time yet, until the “pokes” are done.  But, the moment Abby was done, she had a sweet little smile once again, tears in her eyes, and was proudly clutching her new stickers as if she had just won a medal.

Abby appreciates food.  One morning she greeted me by asking, “Where’s Daddy?  What’s for dessert?”  Her favorite foods are hot dogs, burgers, pizza, and ice cream.  In fact, we let her pick out one meal for her birthday and she waffled between these choices for about a week.  But all hope is not lost for her future dietary choices.  When Abby doesn’t like the meal I make, she’ll happily ask for three bowls of salad instead.

Abby receives compliments like a pro.  You know how some (many) people shrug off compliments because they’re humble or don’t know how to respond?  Not Abby.  If you tell her you like her dress or that she has pretty eyes, she’ll look up at you with sparkling eyes, a closed-mouth grin, and big cheeks in a way that will make you either compliment her more or try not to giggle.  She’s just that cute.  Dan and I took her to a toy store to let her look around and see what she might like for her birthday.  The conclusion: anything.  Just getting a gift makes Abby’s day and she’ll keep that gift with her all day, whether it’s a sticker, sunglasses, stuffed animal, face paint, tiara…you get the idea.  It was so cute on her birthday to watch her reactions when we sung her, “Happy birthday”, and it was even more adorable to hear her later in a different room singing to herself, “Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me…”

Lydia and Abby are your typical young sisters.  They often don’t get along.  But within the past few months they’ve surprised me.  There are moments of every day when they can play happily together.  They get so caught up in their make-believe worlds and later come to tell me all the stories of what they’ve done.  Usually Lydia is the one in charge, deciding what they play and who’s who.  Abby is usually the princess, bride, or ballerina, and Lydia is the one doing Abby’s hair, picking out her clothes, and putting pretend makeup on her.  Abby also often “has a new baby” and Lydia is Abby’s doctor.

Abby gives the best hugs.  We call them Abby-hugs.  She squeezes tighter and tighter with impressive strength.  And, though her hugs are wonderful, she is less of a snuggler than her sister.  But she is more of a wrestler.  Dan likes to play-wrestle with the girls, but I usually sit out, so whenever a family comes over to our house, Abby wants to know if the dad will wrestle her.  If he’s not big on wrestling, she’ll go for tickling instead.

While Lydia learns things in big jumps, Abby is more of a slow-and-steady-type learner, but what stands out in her is her ability to love.  Since Dan and I tend to be pretty academic people, this has really made an impression on me.  I’ve seen that a person’s love can win you over.  In times when I’ve been overwhelmed and crying, Abby would approach me and ask, even when she didn’t have many words, “Mommy, why are you leaking?”  She’ll tell me now that she doesn’t like it when I’m sad or angry, and if I am she’ll ask, “When will you be happy again?”  She’ll stay by my side until I assure her that I’m doing well again and then she’ll run off to go play some more princess.

This Crazy Kiddo

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Lydia turned six at the end of May. She had been counting down to her birthday for over three months. Several days each week she would update us on what she wanted to do for her birthday, who she wanted to have over, and what presents she wanted to receive. When the birthday weekend finally arrived, we had a lot of birthday and start-of-summer fun. We took her to a toy store to pick out a toy to buy with her birthday money, got ice cream and pizza, and spent much of her actual birthday at the playground. She constantly reminded us to sing and say “Happy Birthday” and begged me to make her a “birthday balloon” (a balloon with a smiley face drawn on it). She got pink roses from Dan and went on her second-ever Daddy-daughter-birthday date.

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Lydia has also been asking regularly if it’s warm enough to play in the sprinkler or go to a pool. Since the first day of spring, it’s been hard to keep socks or shoes on her feet, not to mention a coat. She loves playing “house” outside and is so proud that this year she’s big enough to climb into our tree house all by herself.

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Lydia loves to play pretend, dance, and snuggle. She is always dressing up as a bride or asking to “play princess” with Dan, which is not exactly his favorite game. 😉 She loves any hands-on activities and anything “special”. Bridal showers, weddings, holidays, birthdays, and get-togethers are sure to put her on her best behavior because she’s just so happy. When she learns it’s a significant day, for any reason, she’ll wonder why we aren’t celebrating more. For example, she asked why we weren’t having a fancy breakfast or a special dessert for groundhog’s day.

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Kindergarten was a breeze for Lydia. Thankfully (for me) she picks up on things really fast. Really, the best way to teach Lydia is to not teach her but let her watch others do the task. When she gets it in her head that she wants to try, she usually can succeed. This has worked well with laundry, cleaning up after meals, serving food, and even math lessons. I can get her to learn a lot more by doing a lesson half myself and letting her do the other half, than if I explain a concept to her and ask her to do the assignment alone.

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Gift-giving might be Lydia’s top love language. She loves to make “gifts” for people – homemade construction paper cards, simple cross-stitch pictures, cut out pieces of paper, and bouquets of flowers (dandelions or violets, usually) picked from our yard. She also loves receiving gifts. When she was struggling to do her reading lessons with a cheerful attitude, we discovered small prizes work wonders to get her motivated. And now that our library has started their summer reading program, Lydia has been reading at least a book a day to win her prizes, when it was always a struggle to do a page or two in her reading lesson book.

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She’s always been our most verbal child, so it’s no surprise that Lydia is almost always talking. If we had the patience and knowledge to answer all of her questions, she would be a genius. On ANY topic, Lydia can rattle off 5 questions without taking a break. Usually her trains of questions come to an halt whenever Mom or Dad have to ask for a break so we can focus on something or give attention to someone else. Lydia also has a very good memory. She has memorized over 100 Bible verses (with desserts as the most effective incentive). The other day we were listening to our daily news radio program during breakfast and one of their regular promo segments started playing. She recited the 30 second promo pretty well right on top of the program.

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This year is Lydia’s turn to accompany me to our church Ladies’ Retreat for a Mommy-Daugther date and she’s pretty thrilled. She’s been looking forward to her turn ever since I took Abby last year. Her memory is pretty incredible in that way too. For example, about nine months ago we took Lydia to a dentist appointment. They told her that she would earn a stuffed animal prize if she could stop sucking her thumb for 30 days. She stopped that very day. Last month I took her again and she got her prize. The next day I found her sucking her thumb after eight months without it! Dan and I had to explain that the point was to stop altogether, not just stop for eight months to earn her prize and then start again.

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Some of my most precious memories of Lydia lately have been our one-on-one times together. Sometimes Lydia will snuggle up next to me during nap time and play with my hair while she listens to an audio book. Occasionally Lydia helps me cook dinner, peeling carrots or stirring vegetables as they cook (that’s her favorite because she feels so grown up working at the stove). I try to remember to give her snuggles, hugs, and tickles whenever my hands are free because my hands are so often full, I’ll go days without a Lydia hug if I’m not intensional. (Don’t worry about her being deprived though, Dan picks up the slack. Lydia is quite gifted at sneaking into his lap whether he says it’s ok or not!)

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The Necklace

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For Christmas my sister and brother-in-law gave Lydia some beads and stretchy string to make jewelry. After we got back from our trip up North, I spent a couple of days helping her make necklaces and bracelets. She made some for herself, some for Abby, and I made one for Lydia too. I was soon all beaded out.

One day Dan sat down with Lydia and she decided to make a necklace for me. Dan helped and soon I was presented with a small collection of mismatched beads on a string. Of course, I wore it all day and then left it sitting on my dresser when I went to sleep that night.

Fast forward a day or two. Our morning was not going well. Lydia was being difficult and I was getting frustrated. After yet another episode with lots of whining and crying and poor behavior (on both sides), I stomped upstairs to give myself a time out. I was near-tears-frustrated and knew I needed to cool down before having a talk with Lydia. As I sat on my bed and fumed, I started to pray, but I just couldn’t seem to calm myself down.

I glanced up and decided to get ready for the rest of the day, but something on my dresser caught my eye.

“Oh great”, I thought to myself, “the girls got into my stuff and broke one of my necklaces”. I, still angry, stood up and walked over to the dresser to assess the damage. There, lying on the wooden dresser was my necklace from Lydia.

Tears came to my eyes (again) and sentimental music started playing in my head as I slowly picked up the necklace and stared at it in my hand.

My anger was gone and the day was saved. My sweet baby girl, who is still far too young to control herself of her emotions the way I should be able to, loved me enough to want to make this for me. Even though I blow it. Even though I get angry.

Just then I heard my Little Munchkin, my Gooselett, my daughter, climbing the stairs cheerfully, fully recovered from <her meltdown. I put the necklace on and resolved to do my best to make the day a good one, a memorable one. For her.