Abby Update: 9 Months Old

Posted on June 19, 2014 by justeeni

Weight: 14 pounds, 4 ounces

This month has been a busy one for Abigail, but mostly she is just full of smiles. Abby will sit in her jungle, bouncy seat, or on a blanket and play happily until someone gives her attention. Then she greets them with the biggest grin!

This month Abby got her first tooth, and her second tooth is really close. She also ate her first and second foods: avocado and sweet potato. At first she gobbled it right down, but lately she hasn’t been too interested. That’s ok, we’re not in a hurry either. Abby is also (dangerously) close to sitting up. And she’s becoming more and more mobile. One evening I changed Abby’s diaper on the floor, then left to throw it away. When I came back, Abby was gone! I found her under our bed with a big grin on her face.

Abby is as sweet as can be, and I am so thankful that she is one content little girl. She loves to get attention though and will make friends with anyone who gives her any. Everywhere we go we catch people smiling and talking to Abby from all around us, out for walks, at garage sales, in restaurants…Now if only she would sleep as often as she smiles, I would be one happy Mom! Abby has lately been getting up 3-4 times a night. Let’s just hope this is a growth spurt. That’s ok. I’m still getting my naps in on most days and she’s so adorable I just can’t stay mad at her for long even when I am tired.

Abby Update: Eight Months Old

Posted on May 13, 2014 by justeeni

Weight: 13 Pounds, 7 ounces

Abby is a lot like me. First of all, she looks very much like my baby pictures. The only real differences are that my eyes were not so blue and my hair was not so red. Although, Abby’s hair seems to be a little less red these days. It’s hard to tell because there’s just not too much of it.

My mom always told me that I was very adaptable. I don’t know about that now, but with all of our packing and unpacking and moving, Abby has displayed some adaptability of her own. She just eats when she’s hungry, sits in her bouncy seat, and smiles at anyone who will take a moment to give her a grin. She is very content and really, a very “easy baby”. The only exception is that she still usually gets up once a night. Again. But sometimes she’ll sleep nice and long and she still takes regular naps, so we’re doing ok.

Abby has officially found her thumb. And, like me, and Lydia, Abby sucks her left thumb. It brings me great happiness to hear the sound of thumb-sucking echo through our basement home as the girls nap.

Abby is also ticklish, and, like me, she doesn’t like being tickled. It’s so cute to watch her try to fight it as you tickle her tummy. She lets out little resistant grunty giggles, but she’s so ticklish that she really can’t resist very long.

But no one can make Abby’s face light up like Dan. When he gives her his attention she gives him the biggest, cutest smile you’ve ever seen. There was a period of a couple of weeks when Abby liked to stick out her tongue all the time. It was a little weird, I thought. But one time Dan just reached out and gently grabbed it. She thought that was the best thing in the world and continued to stick out her tongue in a way that made it look like she was fishing for Dan to grab it again (and he did).

As I wrap up this post, Abby is sitting in her bouncy seat chattering away: “Ehhha, ah, wah, huhhh, ayahhh, huhh, huhh, aieeyabubu”. She is more adorable than words can possibly describe.

Abby Update: 7 Months Old

Posted on April 15, 2014 by justeeni

Weight: 12 pounds, 11 ounces

This month, Abby learned how to roll from her tummy to her back! Although she can now roll anywhere she wants, she remains pretty content on her back or tummy most of the time. When she does want to move, she rotates in a circle and can make it more than halfway around.

Abby has also learned how to hold on to things and grab. She likes to hold on to blankets, toys, and her sister’s clothing. She, like her sister, loves to hold my hair.

Abby has the most squishable chubby cheeks and amazing blue eyes. I don’t remember Lydia’s eyes ever being so brilliantly blue and I am secretly hoping the blue eyes and reddish hair are here to stay. But we’ll see.

Can you believe she used to be the same size as that doll?

Abby has no teeth yet and we are really enjoying her happy toothless grin. I’ve mentioned, occasionally, that I don’t want the toothless grin to ever go away, but Dan assures me it would eventually cease to be so cute. I guess he’s right. She is often very smiley, but occasionally gets in moods where nothing anyone can do will get her to smile.

Abby is a conundrum when it comes to sleeping at night. Some weeks she’ll sleep until 7 AM every single day. Other weeks she gets up once or twice. She almost always will go right back to sleep, so I’m still a happy mommy. And, even though we can’t get her on a consistent schedule during the day, she always lets me get a nap so I am, again, a happy mommy.

It is hard to believe that Abigail is now over half a year old. The first months were slow and long and hard, but since she has been home the time has flown and she just keeps growing bigger and happier and more and more loved.

(A Little More Than) 30,000 Words

Posted on April 3, 2014 by justeeni

Our little Abby-girl is getting so big and chubby and strong.

and cute.

and smart.

Oh and, don’t forget about this little munchkin!

I recently promised her a tea party.

Abby, can I get a smile out of you?

Hey there!

I think you are a…

Pretty girl.

Aren’t we charming?

Abby too.

Lydia is still bigger.

Let’s hope she doesn’t take advantage of that.

Abby, smile! Lydia, smile for real!

Oh dear.

A little better but we had to leave one out.

Lydia sometimes asks to hold Abby.

Ok girls, lets wrap this up with a picture of you both. Smile.

Abby, you too.

Now both…

Close enough.

Abby Update: 6 Months Old

Posted on March 20, 2014 by justeeni

Weight: 11 pounds, 14 ounces

Yesterday Abby had her 6 month check up and she’s doing great. Her iron, which has been very low ever since she was born, and especially since the UofM incident, is finally up above the normal threshold. Her weight is increasing at a happy rate and she’s closing in on first percentile (which, for us, is a big deal). Her left foot, which has been turned in since before she was born, most likely due to her breech position is improving, but still turned in enough for us to be doing some work on it at home. She may or may not need to see orthopedics in a few months.

This month Abby started out waking up during some nights, but now is consistently sleeping about 7-9 hours a night. Even during our trip up north, she kept sleeping through. On the other hand, we haven’t been able to get her on any sort of predictable eating/sleeping routine or schedule. Until a couple of days ago, that is, when she suddenly started eating and napping about every three hours with one extra snack in the morning. We’ll see how long this lasts.

Abby rolled over this month, from her tummy to her back. She smiles a lot, and loves to be talked to (probably due to a lack of attention which is definitely due to a needy older sister who shall remain nameless). She started laughing recently which is so much fun.

One of Abby’s favorite things is what we call the baby blimp. Even when she’ll in an all-out crying fit, we can usually get a smile out of her using this little technique. Lydia calls it the baby balloon.

This month Abby starred in our Church’s talent show: Fur Rondezvous, in “The Story of Abigail“.

Abby still loves to bounce. She loves her bouncy seat and is in the process of learning to fall asleep without Mom or Dad bouncing her into sleep. She’s getting close to being able to hold onto things, which will be especially fun as Lydia always wants to give her toys to hold. She’s looking more like her older sister. Every day we love her more and couldn’t imagine life without our Abigail.

Here it is!

Posted on February 25, 2014 by justeeni

“The Story of Abigail” World Premiere

Posted on February 20, 2014 by justeeni

You are officially invited to the world premiere of…

Friday, February 21, 2014
6:00 PM – 9:00 PM
Plymouth First United Methodist Church Building
45201 North Territorial, Plymouth, MI

That’s right. This Friday is our Church’s annual Fur Rendezvous Talent Show. There will be a whole host of skits, songs, and other acts that will be fun for the whole family. A light supper will be provided, starting at 6:00. Coffee and desserts to follow.

For those who remember, “The Story of Lydia” was a big hit two years ago. Now it’s Abby’s turn. We hope you can come.
For those aren’t aware, enjoy Lydia’s Movie now and come on Friday to watch an exciting sequel.

Abby Update: 5 Months Old

Posted on February 10, 2014 by justeeni

Weight: 10 pounds, 2 ounces

Eat, sleep, and smile have been Abby’s main activities this month. She often sleeps eight hours at night, but she makes up for that by eating every one and a half to two hours during the day. One night in January Abby suddenly stopped having her evening fussy time (from 7ish to 10 every night) and she hasn’t gone back. She also outgrew her newborn hold-me-all-the-time desires and sometimes she’ll even squirm and cry until you put her down.

Abby spends a lot of time in her bouncy seat. She hates being on her tummy. Recently, while laying in her jungle, she learned that she can make the hanging toys rattle by swinging her arms at them, so that’s been an exciting development for her. She also loves bath time. Her whale-of-a-tale bathtub came with a goldfish “strainer” toy that we use to drizzle water on her and that always gets her to smile. Lately Abby has been trying to fit her whole fist into her mouth. She hasn’t been able to succeed, so she usually gets pretty frustrated.

More than anything, Abby loves to bounce. When she’s tired and won’t fall asleep, she needs to be bounced lightly. Whether it’s in her bouncy seat, or in Mommy or Daddy’s arms, Abby just loves bouncing. We’ve dubbed this BBS for bouncing baby syndrome, because it always gets her to fall into a contented sleep.

Abby’s nicknames continue to be numerous, but the most commonly used ones are: Abby, Abs, and Abster. We don’t really think about it when we use them, but then it’s adorable to hear Lydia tell Abby goodnight, “I love you Abs!”.

What to Say to a NICU Parent

Posted on January 17, 2014 by justeeni

I’ve never been very good at knowing what to say to someone when they’re going through a hard time. After going through some hard times myself, I realize that I have probably very often said the “wrong thing”. Earlier this week I posted a Survival Guide for others who find themselves spending time in the NICU. But the reality is that most of the people reading this never have and never will spend any time in the NICU. However, everyone reading this knows of at least one person who has spent time in the NICU. This post is for all of you. I know my thoughts won’t apply to every NICU parent. Based on my own experience and conversations with other NICU parents, these are my best suggestions on what you can say (and do) to help a NICU parent.

As I wrote this, I wondered if I was going too far. Having a baby in the NICU is not the most difficult thing in the world. I know there are plenty who suffer far greater trials. However, I still felt the thoughts may be helpful to some. My husband pointed out that much of this could probably be applied to interactions with anyone who is suffering. If you think all this is a bit overboard, feel free the glean the good and forget the rest. And, keep in mind, not everyone is the same and I can only share from my own experiences and conversations with a few others.

“My heart just broke for you…”

What do you say to someone who just had a baby…months earlier than they were “supposed to”? “Congratulations”? “I’m sorry”? “She’ll be fine”? “She’ll be home before you know it”? Dan and I have found that there is very little you can say and be of any real comfort to a newly arrived NICU parent.

After Abby had spent two and a half months at the hospital, Dan was riding up the elevator one day with a crowd of people. One of the ladies in the elevator was in a wheelchair and it came up in conversation that she had just had a c-section and had been transferred straight to UofM with a baby who was now in the NICU. The others on the elevator started offering their support and encouragement.

“Don’t worry. She’ll be fine.”

“You’ll be home before you know it.”

“This is a great hospital.”

“What did you say?”, I asked Dan.

“Nothing. There’s nothing you can say. It wasn’t the right time.”

However, there was one conversation that stands out in my mind as being especially comforting. Lydia had just been born. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone. As we walked into church the following Sunday, I wanted to stay close to Dan and avoid all conversation. I was tired, sad, emotional, and still trying to grasp what was happening. Afterward, of course, people came up to talk to me. One mother at church approached me with tears in her eyes and said, “When I heard, my heart just broke for you…”. It was the most comforting thing anyone had ever said to me.

Now, not everyone has the ability to sympathize in this way. Don’t fake it. If you’re able to honestly share in someone else’s suffering, by all means, offer your consolation. However, in many cases the best you can do is give a well-meaning hug.

Be Careful with Your Encouragement

I recently came across Proverbs 25:20. It says, “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.”

For the most part, I will let that verse speak for itself. Someone who is separated from their tiny newborn baby will often have a “heavy heart”. Happy words may be just what they need to hear, or they may sting like icy wind on bare skin.

Ask Me about My Baby

It may seem like all I talk about is my baby. Maybe you think I get tired of giving everyone the same updates over and over. Maybe you think you should avoid the topic because it’ll make me sad.

But, please, do ask me about my baby. My baby is my life right now. I don’t have time for anything else. When my baby takes a step backwards, doesn’t have a good day, or isn’t making progress, my whole world feels a little cloudier. When my baby makes progress, gains weight, shows improvement, the sun comes out and I want everyone to know.

I know there is a whole world beyond the hospital and the universe doesn’t revolve around me (or my baby), but I don’t get to see that world right now. I will try hard to talk to you about all the other things, but the only thing on my mind lately is that little one lying in a hospital room.

Please Be Patient

I may not seem myself. You just might see me cry. Or maybe I look weary. It’s a hard circumstance to be in the NICU for so long, so please be patient with me.

Please be patient with me if you are pregnant, especially once you hit nine months. I rejoice with you, but sometimes seeing a very pregnant mommy might make me tear up a little. Some good friends of ours had a baby when Abby was a month old. Their little boy was in church when he was only two days old and I cried every time I saw him.

I felt terrible. I was happy for them. But I could hardly talk to them because I would break down. It wasn’t until after Abby was home that I could cheerfully visit and hear all about their birth story and the early days with their newborn. I don’t know if they noticed or not, but I am grateful that they are sweet and patient people who weren’t offended by my distance during those first weeks of their own baby’s life.

If you are pregnant or have a newborn while a friend is in the NICU, be patient if they seem awkward or distant.

Ten Practical Helps

If you do know someone who has a baby in the NICU, you may be wondering what practical things you can do to help them beyond just words. So here are a few ideas:

1. Pray for them. No matter where you live, how much time or money you have, this is one way you can help

2. Do their laundry. They don’t have time.

3. Clean their bathroom. They don’t have time.

4. Wash their dishes. They don’t have time.

5. Do any other tidying or cleaning…I think you get the point here.

6. Bring them a hot meal, a frozen meal, a gift card, a snack…

7. Offer to buy and deliver their groceries. You don’t have to pay for them yourself, just picking them up and saving them the trip will go a very long way. You can give them a bagful of random groceries, or you can ask for a list. Either way, they will probably appreciate it more than they can express.

8. Watch their kiddos…although it’s likely that many will offer to babysit, so be creative and choose one of the above suggestions that hasn’t already been taken.

9. Ask if there is anything you can do to help or bless them. Everyone has individual needs.

10. Visit their baby or send a card or gift. Hospital visits can get long and lonely, you are probably a welcome visitor.

Well, I hope those thoughts are helpful and not offensive or out-of-hand. Dan and I were very blessed by many who did and said loving and encouraging things for us throughout our NICU stays, and we are immensely grateful. In fact, I feel we could never repay many for their sacrificial kindness. And Abby agrees.

NICU Survival Guide

Posted on January 13, 2014 by justeeni

Now that we’ve had two babies spend time in the NICU (124 days between the two of them), I wanted to take some time to write a little guide for ourselves and anyone else who may find themselves spending any extended amount of time with a baby in the NICU.

Preparations

If you have a clue ahead of time that baby might come early, my best advice is to plan ahead as much as possible. Cook and freeze meals, the more, the better. Make sure you have everything prepared for when Baby comes home. Errands are no fun once Baby is born. Figure out a workable routine, find out if you (or your spouse ) can work from home, and set up any extra help or baby sitters.

When Baby Comes

When Baby is born, the first thing to do is take a deep breath and process a little. A new baby changes everything, but a new baby in the NICU really changes everything. Once you’ve had a chance to take a deep breath (and decide on a name!), it’s time to make some phone calls. Announcing the birth of you child is exciting and when Baby comes early it’s even more of a surprise to those on the other end of the line. When I called my mom to tell her that Lydia was born (nine weeks early), she answered the phone by saying, “What do you know about puppies?”. My sister’s new puppy had just hurt her foot and my mom was trying to decide if she needed to take her to the vet. It was pretty comical (later).

If your baby is healthy and doing well, considering the circumstances (just trust what the doctors tell you) make sure you start off every announcement with that information. And halfway through, you should say it again. And then, before you hang up or say goodbye, say it again. Most people don’t know much about premature babies. I certainly didn’t. And they don’t know how critical of a condition your baby is actually in.

Believe the Doctors

The first question everyone has about a preemie is, “How long will we have to stay in the NICU?”. Doctors don’t like to give out false hope or unrealistic expectations, and their estimates are usually pretty good. For Lydia, they guessed 6-8 weeks, and she came home in 6. For Abby, they guessed 8-12 weeks, and she came home in 11 1/2.

However, both our girls started out fantastically. Every day we came in to hear praise about how well they were doing. We let it get to our heads and figured, surely, they would be home sooner than the original estimate. But the NICU is a roller coaster with unexpected turns, and both times the doctors were ultimately right. When I asked Dan what his best NICU advice was, it was to listen to the doctors estimate and don’t doubt it even if your baby seems to be doing amazing.

The First Week

The first week always feels like a whirlwind to us. First Baby comes, then there are announcements and visitors. You get to watch everyone’s reaction to your news and share your story. But after a couple of days, and you head home from the hospital, you have to get a plan together for how you’re going to handle your NICU stay. When Abby was born, both my parents and Dan’s parents came down at different times to watch Lydia and help around the house while I recovered. We would have completely fallen apart without that help.

During that week I sat down on Excel and figured out a tentative schedule that allowed us to visit Abby twice a day. We had to see if Dan could get in eight hours of work each day. It turns out he could, but only by working six days a week, getting up early, and going to bed late. If you do this, don’t forget to account for drive time. It was not uncommon for either Dan or I to spend over two hours in the car every day between driving to work, the hospital, home, and Lydia’s Babysitter’s.

Also during the first week, my parents took me grocery shopping. We stocked up on food for the next four weeks. I also got to ride around Meijer in one of their little electric scooters.

It’s OK to Cry

When I have babies in the NICU, I cry. I cry when they are admitted. I cry when they are not doing well. And I cry, even when they are. It’s sad. It’s hard. Your baby is supposed to be at home or in your belly. Not in an isolette. So it’s ok to cry.

I talked to a NICU mom once who had been in the NICU for two months already. They had a long road ahead and I empathized with her. She smiled and light-heartedly told me it was “sort of fun” to have a baby in the NICU. I hid my shock, but in my mid-NICU-super-emotional state, I felt like she had no heart.

I saw another Mom standing at her baby’s isolette, just watching her baby sleep. She was crying. I always liked that Mom after that, because it was so obvious how much she loved her baby boy.

Now, I’m all for having a good attitude and looking on the bright side. But you don’t have to pretend everything is perfect. It’s ok to cry.

Feeding Your Baby

Feeding times are the times you really want to be in the NICU. This is when you get to change your baby’s diaper, take your baby’s temperature, and, once your baby is stable enough, hold him or her. Once babies are over a week old, they usually have their feeding time every three hours.

Mothers of preemies aren’t able to nurse their babies so they have to express milk with a pump to be fed to their baby through a feeding tube. Lactations consultants recommend pumping every three hours, around the clock. I found that it works best to pump one hour after Baby’s feeding time, so that you can be involved with the hands-on part and not skip a pumping time. I also found that, once the milk supply is established and if it’s plentiful enough, it worked well to pump an hour early before bed and and hour late afterward so that you could have a couple of four hour stretches during the night.

Dan and I like to be at the hospital at least twice a day. This way we could each get a turn holding the Baby, and we could often be there for rounds. We got a morning update on how the night went and an evening update on how the day went.

What about Meals?

I’m sure a lot of NICU parents just eat out for every meal during their NICU stay. Dan and I avoided this for two reasons. One: it’s more expensive. Two: It’s much less healthy. And during the chaos of a NICU stay, eating junk won’t make things any better but it can make things a lot worse.

To handle this issue I made a meal plan of fast, easy-to-put-together meals for one week. We ate things like spaghetti, rice and beans, curry with frozen veggies and a store-bought sauce, veggies and hummus, and chili (which was the most time consuming meal and I wouldn’t choose that one again). And we repeated it every week until Abby came home. We would go grocery shopping once a month or so to buy the non-perishables. For the fresh produce, we asked a family from church to buy our groceries once a week and deliver them to us at church. They graciously continued to do this for the entire time Abby was in the NICU.

We also had one night a week when we ate Qdoba using gift cards given to us by loving friends from church. Those nights were my favorite. No preparation and no clean up.

Babysitters

With Abby we had another challenge of taking a care of a toddler while visiting the NICU. It worked best for us to bring Lydia once a day and leave her with a sitter during our second visit. Our favorite way to do this was to take her in the morning. In the evening we would eat dinner together and tuck her into bed. Then the baby sitters would come and stay while Lydia slept and we went to the hospital. We had such loving sitters who also tidied our messy living room, cleaned our dishes, and did our laundry. Those nights were also my favorites.

We found that it was very important to spend one-on-one time with Lydia. Snuggling, reading, tickling, talking, and playing were very important because she was getting much less Mommy and Daddy time than before. Sometimes she would scream from her bed at night, but we realized it wasn’t because she was being “bad”, it was because she was having trouble coping with our being away so much. So on those nights I would snuggle her extra until she was ready to sleep.

Get to Know Parents and Nurses

One of the most therapeutic things Dan and I chose to do was to make friends in the NICU. Time in the NICU passes slowly, but having another baby to cheer on helps a lot. Talking to other parents is encouraging, distracting, and helps pass the days. We had a lot of fun celebrating when our friends would move to an open crib or take their first bottle.

It also helps to make friends with the nurses. They are the people you’ll see the most and they are the ones caring for your (very) little bundle. It’s a lot better to have friends watch your baby than strangers. We also discovered that nurses which we didn’t care for at first, grew on us as we got to know them.

Once we transferred to Mott’s, we had trouble getting to know our nurses. It was just a less-friendly atmosphere. So we made an extra effort and brought them chocolate. That helped a lot. We also befriended Russell, the parking lot attendant.

Take Naps

The house is trashed. The sink is full of dishes. The laundry isn’t folded. Take a nap.

Someone just called your phone. A delivery man knocked on the door. You didn’t get to shower today. Take a nap anyway.

Some things just have to wait. Sleep isn’t one of them. Life in the NICU is hard enough without being exhausted. And, even with naps you’re still not going to get enough sleep, so take them!

Turn to Jesus

Even if you follow all of my NICU advice and think of fifteen other helpful things, having a baby in the NICU is still rough. Our greatest source of strength and hope rested in Jesus Christ. God is, after all, the Great Physician, and even if doctors fail, He never will. He knit together that Baby in Mom’s womb, and He can keep knitting that Baby together out of it.

Many times, I felt like everything was falling apart, and I didn’t even know what to pray. But I remember riding in the car, looking up at the night sky and silently crying out, “Help me! Help us! We need Your help!” Sometimes the change wasn’t instant, but He always came. He always helped.

Times when I felt so down I knew no one could offer me any comfort and He would. Through a song in the car, through a sermon at church, or through some unexpected blessing, He would carry us along.

The Roller Coaster Must End Sometime

There were times when I seriously thought Abby would never come home from the hospital. I thought she would just stay there forever, not finishing her bottles, not gaining weight, not keeping her temperature up. It’s silly, I know. But that’s how it felt.

Life in the NICU is a roller coaster ride. There are unexpected turns, and many ups and downs. But, the roller coaster will end. There will be a time when you will stop taking those car rides to the hospital every day. There will be a day when you have time to wash your own dishes and do your own grocery shopping. It’s true, what they say, that there are no kindergarteners in the NICU.

I hope this post will be useful for some. Or perhaps it can give others a glimpse into NICU life. And if not, thanks for bearing with me. If Dan and I have another baby I know that we will, at least, find this to be a great help.

MI Taylor Family

We live in Michigan.

Category Archives: Abigail Faith