Tag Archives: thankful

Meijer Meltdown

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A couple of days ago I decided it would be nice to get out of the house. So I packed up my girls and we headed out for a morning walk to Meijer. I’ve had a couple of small projects in mind for a while now and wanted to check out some prices. So begins my story, but first allow me to fill you in on some necessary background details.

A couple weeks ago, during another Meijer trip, I introduced Lydia to Sandy. Sandy is the brown horse ride every Meijer seems to have that only costs one penny. I told Lydia that, if we found a penny on the ground, we could use it to ride Sandy. We did not find a penny. We found a nickel. So you all know what that means, right? Five rides on Sandy. No, not all in the same day. I don’t know how it is at every Meijer, but the Sandy we know and love is in very high demand and it would be inconsiderate to take more than one ride in a row. Anyway, Sandy was a hit and has since become an almost necessary part of every Meijer trip. Lydia loves her, and for only a penny, how could we say no?

The second thing you need to know to thoroughly appreciate this story is that I have been pondering two small projects for a while now. The first is a “Bible Memory Book” for Lydia. She has done so well learning her verses (she’s up to five now), that I thought it would be fun to document her work. I was looking, on this particular trip, for a sturdy blank notebook. Whenever Lydia learns a new verse, I plan to record the verse and the date she learned it, then let her draw a picture. Just think how much fun she’ll have looking back at that ten or twenty years from now.

The second project I’ve been thinking about is a “Mommy Book”. I wanted a pretty journal to start recording special moments with my kiddos, birth pictures, inspiring notes and verses, that sort of thing. When I get stressed out or frustrated, or am just having a hard time doing my job, I can pull out the book and be reminded of how much I love my job and my munchkins. While Lydia won’t enjoy the project directly, I think she’ll benefit from its fruit.

So, back to my story. We headed to Meijer and all was going well. The air was cool and fresh and it felt good to be outside. As soon as we got to Meijer, Abby started crying. She cried through the aisles and all the way to the notebooks. Lydia wandered off to the end of the aisle where there was a collection of children’s books, while I priced out notebooks and journals and tried to keep the stroller moving so Abby would quiet down.

Then a lady asked, “Is that your baby screaming?”

“Uh, yeah…” I started to feel uncomfortable.

After she left, more and more people began to walk by. Maybe it was just my self-conscious imagination, but I was sure they were all annoyed at the crying baby and thinking me an incompetent mother. So I decided, sadly, it was time to leave without the notebook or journal. I grabbed Lydia’s hand and moved out of the aisle only to find myself with two very upset children. Lydia didn’t want to go home. So I decided it was really time to go and turned around to return the children’s books that Lydia has snuck into my basket. Then she really lost it. She wanted those books!

We hurried through the store, me pushing crying Abby and holding screaming Lydia. Oh dear. When we got to the doors the ruckus got even louder because Lydia realized she wasn’t going to get to ride Sandy. The rest of the morning was an absolute nightmare. Lydia wouldn’t put on her coat without riding Sandy. I wasn’t going to reward her outbursts with a Sandy ride. So I tried to get Lydia’s coat on, while the girls cried in harmony. Every time I put an arm in, Lydia took the other one out. Then she tried to unbutton it. And I’m sure every one within hearing distance thought I was just a monster for refusing to let my child ride the one cent pony.

The amazing part of the story was that I never lost it. By God’s grace I made it home completely unflustered.

After we were home again and the shoes and coats were put away, I started to think a little more about that trip and God showed me a lesson for my own life.

I am Lydia. I want those children’s books and I want to ride that pony. I don’t want to walk any farther and I don’t understand why God is taking me down a boring aisle to look at notebooks. I want what I want and I certainly can’t imagine that whatever He is doing is something I could possibly appreciate any more than that pony ride and those children’s books.

Let me break it down a bit more.

Lately God has taken Dan and I through changes we never wanted. Job changes. Housing changes. NICU changes. And we follow Him and I think of all the nice things I want. A nice house that we get to live in for more than a few months. A job where Dan can be home all of the time and love working at more than he loves playing baseball. A baby that makes it to a full 40 weeks and only spends two days in the hospital. And, as God takes me where He wants me to go, I look at all these other things and think how lovely they are, and I ask God for them. Meanwhile God is elsewhere working on something else that I don’t understand at all. But, like my projects for Lydia, I know that God’s plans are better, longer lasting, and for my own good. Someday I will look back and appreciate the trip we took and the gifts He was preparing. Someday I will be grateful that He didn’t do what I wanted and just give me a kid book and a 30 second ride on a pony.

I’ve been continuing my project: one year of thankful, but I’ve realized something more. While noticing blessings along the way will make the trip more enjoyable, the thing that makes the real difference is trusting that God has something good planned, something better than my own plans. Good for me. Good for my family. Good for Him. Good for His kingdom.

Kids have meltdowns in Meijer. It happens. And I’ve totally learned not to look down on a parent when their kid is crying because he didn’t get to ride Sandy. But grown-ups have meltdowns too. Sandy will always be a reminder to me, to trust God’s plans. They are better than the 30 second pony ride I think I want.

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes all thing to work together for good to those who love God,
to those who are called according to His purpose.

Gathering the Edelweiss of God

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Abby Update: 7 Weeks Old

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Gestation: 35 weeks, 4 days
Weight: 4 pounds, 9 ounces
Feedings: 42 milliliters every 3 hours by gravity or bottle

Abby has been taking about half of her feeds by mouth lately. After our last nurse had a day off, we were greeted by a new nurse who was quite the opposite. She was determined to give Abby every chance she could to eat out of a bottle (which we appreciated). She agreed with us that Abby always looks sleepy but seems to do just fine at eating while she either is asleep or looks very much so. (I wanted to correct my previous post just a little and let everyone know that Dan didn’t actually snap and bite our nurse’s head off when she last tubed Abigail, as it may have sounded. We were disappointed at all the “tubing” but Dan was very calm and kind in his discussion with the nurse.)

Abby had her hearing test yesterday and passed. One step closer to discharge.

Abigail’s blood count for this week was a little low, 24.5. As I mentioned once before, if Abby’s blood count gets too low, she will need a transfusion. It’s pretty standard for the count to continue to decrease until around six weeks and then head back up. However, at seven weeks, Abby’s went down again (from 27 to 26.5, to 24.5 over the past three weeks). However, no one is too concerned at this point and she is already taking a multivitamin with iron.

The rest of us are doing ok. We sure miss Abby though. I was reading a book recently that introduced me to the helpful concept of “gathering edelweiss”. (You’ll have to forgive me for referencing a book that is referencing another book, but I don’t have any way of obtaining the original at the moment) The book I read is called Isobel Kuhn In the Arena and is part of an autobiography of the missionary, Isobel Kuhn. As she discusses her struggle with cancer, she says:

Another thing that has helped me to keep a sound mind is the gathering of the edelweiss of God. I owe this thought to Amy Carmichael. In her book Gold by Moonlight, she has a whole chapter on it. Edelweiss grows on barren mountain heights, and its soft beauty is a cheery surprise to the toiling climber. So Amy Carmichael likens it to the little things of joy which can always be found in any painful experience, if only we will gather them as we go along.

So I have been gathering edelweiss over the past few days and thought I would share some of my little flowers.

Last Thursday Dan, tired of being cooped up inside all the time, declared that we were going to the playground. Together we spent about 15 minutes playing on the slide, swings, and merry-go-round (before Mommy got too cold). It was 15 minutes full of fresh air and laughter that we all found to be a refreshing change from our usual routine.

On Monday evening I decided to take a few minutes to play with Lydia instead of tidy our living room before our babysitter came over. In the end, I didn’t even have time to clean up the dinner dishes before we left for the hospital (much less tidy the living room). Later that night I came home to find the dishes all washed and put away, the living room tidy, and the floor vacuumed. I was so relieved and grateful that I could have cried.

Last night and this morning I found myself with a few minutes to spare. I took the time to clear off the kitchen counter of all its clutter for the first time since we moved into this apartment. Now it looks so shiny and clean!

With our crazy schedule visiting Abby, it is sometimes difficult to find the time to cook and eat. So, Dan and I started getting Qdoba every Tuesday night for dinner. Once the Qdoba manager started recognizing Dan and successfully guessing our order, Dan told him that we have a baby in the hospital and that we’ll probably continue to come on Tuesdays until she is home. This week the manager got a quick update and more workers heard about little Abby while we ordered our burritos. When we neared the cash register to pay, the manager swiped his card and said he wanted to buy our meal this time. He handed the receipt to Dan out of habit, and down at the bottom was the total: $0.00.

Fifteen minutes at the playground. An uncluttered kitchen. A late night free from chores. A delicious free meal. These are my little flowers that I have been gathering into a bouquet, now on display for you all to enjoy.

Praise the Lord
We are thanking God for:
-Abby’s hearing test results
-Abby seems to be digesting the Nutramigen well
-the edelweiss of God

Please Pray:
-that Abby would eat more
-that Abby’s blood count would start to increase soon

The Date God Planned

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Last week was a rough one for me. Three days of attempted potty training left me behind on laundry, cleaning, and everything else. On top of that, Baby #2 has been gifting us with lots of hormones that make Mommy very emotional. So it was a long, tiring, emotional week.

My sweet husband wanted to do something special for me this weekend and hatched some secret plans while I was getting ready for the day on Saturday. We spent the whole morning out grocery shopping, and came home to a hurried lunch. Afterward, we got back in the car to go visit some friends at the hospital who had a baby on Friday.

Now, to understand my surprise and Dan’s enjoyment of this part of the day, you have to know a little bit about me and directions. I’m not terrible with directions, I just don’t pay attention. If I drive somewhere or see directions on a map or written down, I can get to where I need to go. Mostly though, I just depend on GUPS (which is what we call our GPS). Dan is great with directions and is super independent on top of that, so he would rather get somewhere on his own than use a GPS anyway. So, for that reason and a few others, Dan is the primary driver in our household. And I happily keep him company from my passenger seat, paying little to no attention to where we are going or how we are getting there.

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This brought Dan much delight as we headed to the hospital, passed the hospital exit and kept on going, took a different exit, pulled into a parking lot, and stopped. I thought we were just turning around. So, when Dan asked, “Do you want a brownie?” I was a little confused. Of course, I said, “yes”, because I’ve been craving brownies for the past few weeks, but didn’t understand why he was asking me this, now, and why he parked in the parking lot that wasn’t the hospital. Dan practically had to explain what was going on before I figured out that he has planned to take me to Zingerman’s Bakehouse to get me one of the best brownies in Ann Arbor (according to Google) and spend a little time on a mini-dessert-date before going to visit our friends and their new baby at the hospital. Oh.

Not all plans work out the way we expect, though, and we didn’t actually have time to do anything but buy the brownie and get back in the car. Oh well. I saved it and figured we could eat it together after Lydia went to bed. We visited our friends, the day ended far too quickly, and we tucked Lydia in for the night. We settled down in the living room and shared our brownie and I got ready for a nice long talk. Minutes later, Dan fell asleep and I was left alone on the couch feeling pouty and miserable. Other than the super-delicous brownie, our attempts a date has completely failed (in my late-night-pregnancy-induced-emotional-opinion)

By Sunday, I was able to move beyond my disappointment and enjoy the day. We didn’t get Lydia tucked in to bed until almost 9:00 and sat down to watch just an inning or two of baseball before going to bed early ourselves.

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But then we started talking. And somehow some random questions about baseball and the related commercials turned into our sharing memories from elementary school and high school. After telling stories we’d never told each other before, we marveled at how it was that we ever ended up together. We were SO different. It was one of those happy and confirming moments when you realize that God had worked something out in a way contrary to logical expectation or even our own best plans. An “inning or two” turned into one hour turned which turned into two, and somewhere along there we turned the baseball off anyway. Around midnight we decided that it was far past our bed times.

Somewhere during that conversation I thought to myself,” I feel like we’re on a date”, just like some of the ones when we were getting to know each other before we were married. Only this was better because at the end we got to pray together and go to sleep and wake up, all without having to say goodbye.

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And so, after a long week, and a somewhat failed date-attempt on Dan’s part (except for the successful surprise and the delicious brownie) God blessed us with our own little date-night, unexpected and unplanned. And we both walked away thinking, “I’m going to be so tired tomorrow” but also “We should do this more”. And it’s moments like these that I can’t help but smile, knowing in my head and in my heart that God really is a sweet Father who loves to give us good gifts.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.