Mommy Chronicles

Because some days are just worth remembering…

A couple of weeks ago, Lydia and Abby had doctor appointments. I remember when Lydia was the only baby in our home and she had appointments. It would take a grand hour and a half out of our day, which felt like a huge chunk of time. With three, things sure have changed. Partway through this adventure-of-a-day, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much was involved in one little appointment. So here I am, documenting for my own future entertainment someday when life is either far easier and more peaceful or (more likely) even more chaotic.

Planning for the appointment started the day before as we prepared to get the kids to bed extra early. We were all going to be getting up early the next day so we ate our dinner and cleaned up quickly, put the kids in their pajamas, and tucked them in to bed. That’s where our troubles began…

Every night we wash a load of diapers, since we use cloth and don’t have enough to make it longer than a day (with two kids in diapers). I promptly started the load at 7:00, right after the final diaper changes for the night. Sometime later we realized the washer wasn’t washing. The switch was on, washer plugged in, lid down, and the tub was filled with water but the washer wasn’t washing. Some quick Youtube searching allowed us to diagnose our problem: the lid switch was coming unglued.

Can I interject an important truth here? I have a college education as a mechanical engineer. Most people think that means I can fix stuff, anything really. That is not the case. A mechanical engineer can do math, solve mathy problems, create complicated Excel sheets, and design parts. No fixing. No repairing. And no diagnosing. My dad does that, not me. (and as an extra side note, either of our dad’s could have fixed this problem in no time flat, I’m sure of it).

Now Dan has his training in Math and Physics with a lot of experience in programming. There is not a single math, physics, or programming course that teaches you how to repair household appliances. Although, Dan and I could quickly sit down with our skills and calculate the time and cost comparison of fixing a part, paying someone to fix the part, buying a new washing machine, or using a laundromat until one of our dads makes a trip down to fix the part.

Well, the diapers needed to be washed and we had a big day coming so we found a useful Youtube video and started tackling the repair. Things went great. We got the washer apart, found the switch, duct-taped it back together (whatever works, right?) and began the process of reassembling the washer.

Then our sweet girls, who always go to sleep without any problems, both started crying. Lydia was beside herself in tears although no one knew why. We interrupted our repair to snuggle her back to peace only to have Abby start crying, wake Lydia up, and the whole episode began again. Then Paul, who was sitting happily in his bouncy seat, started crying too. We struggled through the repair process for a little while and finally took a break to calm the criers and feed the baby.

The rest of the night was just an upsetting mix of crying and unsuccessful attempts to put the washing machine back together. It was terrible. But, we did it, and finally everyone was asleep. The diapers got washed. Dan’s lunch was packed. Clothes were laid out for the next day. We made it to bed two or three hours later than we had planned.

The next morning I had planned to get up at 5 to feed Paul, so naturally he woke up hungry at 4:30. Oh well. I fed him and took a power nap before getting up and getting the girls ready. Much to Dan’s surprise, we made it to the parking lot of his work more than ten minutes early. The kids were quiet in the back seat so we just sat and enjoyed a few minutes more of peace before saying goodbye for the day. Then it was my turn to take over the driving.

I don’t really enjoy driving. In fact, I really don’t enjoy driving especially on busy or new roads. I tend to be a pretty cautious driver and my greatest weakness is not trusting any of the other drivers to do what their supposed to do. I’m also terrible with directions and can get lost going just about anywhere. Driving is one of my scariest responsibilities as a Mommy. So when I have to drive, Dan always prays for me first. Then I pray for me. Then I tell all the kids they have to be quiet because “Mommy is driving”. I pray every time I have to get on an entrance ramp, make a turn where there’s not a stop light, or think I might be going wrong direction. I also avoid lane changes at all costs even if it means driving ten miles below the speed limit because I’m “stuck” behind a slow truck or bus.

Dan, on the other hand, is an excellent “down state driver”. He can handle traffic, construction, detours, and makes lane changes like it’s his job. He has a wonderful sense of direction and can get anywhere without asking for help even if he’s never been there before and even if he’s “lost”. He can find our car in the parking lot without a problem. He can talk and listen and dodge potholes, watch for street signs, pass slow drivers, avoid fast drivers, keep track of what our kids are doing in the back seat, and sing along to the radio all at the same time. For this, and many other reasons, Dan always drives when we’re together.

We were made for each other.

So as Dan headed in to his work building, the girls and I prayed for my driving and I began reviewing the directions Dan had given me to get home. (He’s also very good at giving directions.)

Potholes. The last thing Dan told me before going in to work was that there were horrific potholes on the highway that would definitely give me a flat tire if I hit them. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about, I was supposed to dodge potholes We prayed for that too.

I was a nervous wreck driving home. It took half an hour and I still had another hour and a half of driving ahead of me for the day. At least the kids were being quiet. I did it though, I dodged those nasty potholes and thanked God for every single one we passed successfully. We made it home and I unloaded the kids. Now, breakfast.

After breakfast we had our daily “Bible Time”, prayed (for all the driving yet to come) and sang a Bible memory song. Then I packed the diaper bag, and repacked all the kids into the car.

Would you believe we actually made it to the doctor early? Not only were we early, we were 40 minutes early. Well, I guess I needn’t have worried about the rush hour traffic after all. I fed Paul and gave the girls some last minute snacks. Maybe I was trying to give them one last little boost before the big weigh-in. When you’re only 3rd percentile, every ounce counts. 🙂

The doctor appointment went remarkable well (everyone is growing and developing at a pleasing rate). I was feeling like a pretty good mom and even made a lane change on the way home to pass a slow truck. Now you all know how monumental that is, so you know I was feeling good.

Somewhere along here I had the brilliant idea, since we had the car for the day, to stop and get Dan a Father’s day gift on the way to pick him up from work. So when we got home I took a few minutes to research the cheapest place to get a Wiffle Ball and bat. It turned out that Dick’s was the place to go and, as it turns out, there is a Dick’s conveniently located right on the way to Dan’s work. Success.

We took our time eating lunch and then everyone got a half hour nap before we got back into the car. Prayed for Mom’s driving, And off we went. During the ten minute drive to Dick’s I tried to explain to Lydia what a surprise is and that we were going to get a present for Daddy for Sunday. Since it was for Sunday, she was not to say a word to him about it. Did I really believe that would work? Well, I was hopeful.

Finding a Wiffle ball set at Dick’s was more involved than I expected, and I was sad to learn that they no longer sell the balls in a set. You have to buy every single ball individually for $2 each. Ridiculous. We decided to just get the bat and ball and order more balls online. I was grateful there weren’t more people in the store to judge my parenting as Lydia ran chaotically through the kayaks yelling to me that there were purple life jackets. We survived the checkout line, even with its walls of colorful toys and candy and playground balls (honestly, who thought that was a good idea?) and made it through the checkout and back to the car with time to spare. I hid the bat and ball in the trunk and Lydia and I talked some more about surprises.

Then it was back to dodging potholes. I was a little less confident this time and decided to patiently follow the slow truck in front of me for the few miles to Dan’s work. I realized I didn’t have to worry as much about the potholes if I just followed the path of the car in front of me. That seemed to work well and soon enough we were finally safe in Dan’s work parking lot. I fed Paul and Dan came out promptly at 3:00.

Now, there are some days when, as a stay at home Mom with three, I feel like I don’t accomplish much. Dan comes home and asks what I did and I say, “I got the kids dressed and fed, did laundry, and cooked dinner. That’s all.” But this day trumped all days. “How was your day?”, he asked me. “Great! We didn’t do anything but go to the doctor, eat, and take short naps. BUT, I didn’t get lost, wasn’t late, and didn’t hit a single pothole!” And my husband, who knows me well, congratulated me and gave me a hug.

Now, as a side note so you are not all left hanging…I never heard Lydia say a single word to Dan about the Wiffle ball and bat. I snuck it into the house, and, at Lydia’s request, we made Dan a card to go with it. On Sunday we triumphantly brought out our surprise and gave it to Dan. He read the card, admired the bat, and than confessed, “Lydia told me about the bat.”

“What?!?”

“Several times…and I saw it when you opened the closet a couple of days ago.”

Good thing Dan doesn’t really like surprises. 🙂

Abby Update: 54 Days Old

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Gestation: 36 weeks, 2 days
Weight: Not sure…
Feedings: However much she wants by bottle

Between going to church and visiting Abby yesterday Lydia didn’t get laid down for a nap until well after 4:00. And when we did lay her down she was so overtired that she just cried and screamed. Finally I picked her up and sat with her curled up and sniffling in my lap as I rocked in the glider.

Overtired myself, I thought, “I can’t do this anymore.”

For a while my mind continued to list all of the things I have to do and how I just can’t take anymore. Then, it was almost like someone said to me, “What are you doing right now?”

Rocking Lydia.

Then that’s all you need to do.

And so, in a simple way I was reminded that God never promises strength in advance for everything we have to do next, but He certainly provides the strength we need for the moment. So Dan and I have been living lately, drawing moment by moment the strength we need from the only One who won’t ever run out.

Are you ready for a crazy weekend?

Friday, I left you all with Lydia sick and Abby about to get an abdominal x-ray. Thanks, I believe, to the goodness of God and lots of prayers, Lydia was sick and better all within three hours. It was a rough weekend keeping her out of the NICU, but it was really only for a couple of days and we made it through. Friday night was almost a disaster for me when Dan went to see Abby and I stayed home with Lydia. I decided it must be a crime to keep a parent from being allowed to see their baby. Lydia and I did some projects together to pass the time and ended up setting up Abby’s bassinet for when she comes home. We made it.

Abby’s x-ray was normal. However, she continued to spit up through the weekend, and she continued not stooling.

On Saturday, while Dan was helping feed Abby in the morning, she got her feeding tube out. Dan quietly suggested that if she was eating well maybe they would just leave it out this time. At the next feeding, the nurse put a new feeding tube in, but Abby promptly got that one out too. So they left it out! At 5:00 on Saturday night the doctor put in order that Abby was to be “Ad Lib”.

Ad lib feeding is usually the last step for NICU babies. It means they have taken their bottles well by mouth (Abby was at 74%) and are close to discharge. It’s usually only 24-48 hours before they go home, once they’re ad lib. During this time, babies can eat any time they are awake and looking hungry within 2-4 hours from their previous feeding time. While their amounts are still recorded, they can eat as much or as little as they want as long as they gain a decent amount of weight.

On Sunday, Abby had lost weight and still wasn’t stooling. She spit up at four feedings in a row. And no one was talking to us about discharge. So Dan and I sat down with a doctor and asked if Abby could just be taken off the fortifier. We did some research on the importance of supplementing calcium and phosphorus for preemies so that their bones mineralize well and we found one hopeful paper that suggesting fortifying is unnecessary. I’ll spare all of the details, but basically this whole topic of fortification is really unsure. Research hasn’t been going on long enough to determine if preemies who don’t receive the fortification may have weak bones as adults. Anyway, there seem to be pros and cons either way. Our doctor agreed to give Abby a trial off of any fortifier to see how she does. They’ll watch her calcium levels and weight gain in the process.

Then Dan and I found out that Abby might have been home by Tuesday as long as she had gained weight. This particular doctor (who is on all week) wasn’t concerned about her spit up or her lack of stools and thought she was ready to go. Dan and I quickly explained that we weren’t set on taking her off the fortifier. We just want our baby home! But the doctor seemed to think it was a good idea to try her off the fortifier and keep her in the hospital in the meantime.

Bummer.

Then we went on to tell us that a recent exam revealed that Abby has a left inguinal hernia. This is very common in men and in preemie boys (about 1/3 of preemie boys have a hernia), however it is less common in preemie girls. Of the 700-800 our NICU sees each year there are usually only one or two. So Abby decided to be one of the two this year. By tomorrow a pediatric surgeon will take a look at Abby and decide if she needs to have surgery quickly (this week) or if it’s less serious and we can wait a couple of weeks.

This weekend, more than ever, I have been tempted to “lose it”. That is why, as I was rocking Lydia Sunday afternoon, I wanted to say “I can’t take it anymore!” But we know that God is taking care of us, and of little Abby.

Hernia surgery, from my best understanding, isn’t too serious. But it is still surgery. We are eager to talk to the pediatric surgeon and find out more about how serious it actually is. Our neonatologist didn’t seem too concerned though.

Today we found out that Abby has been eating about every four hours. In all of her short little life, Abby has never been a very awake baby for feeding times. We always have to wake her up. You may remember our frustrations last week when our nurse wouldn’t give her a bottle because she always “looked sleepy”. We’ve slowly been assuring the nurses that Abby always looks sleepy but she still eats great. That in mind, we thought it might be nice to keep Abby on the three hour schedule. More frequent, smaller feeds might help with the whole spit up issue. And it’s what she’s been doing all along. Once again, our doctor said that sounded fine, so tonight we will switch back to a three-hour schedule and see how Abby does on that.

Between the three hour schedule and the unfortified milk, we are hoping Abby will have less spit up, more stools, and bette weight gain. As long as she is gaining weight, it is still possible she could come home this week. Or, it may take longer for clear results. Or, she may go back on the fortifier and we may have to wait to see how she transitions to that before taking her home.

I’m still trying to gather my edelweis. Right now Lydia is walking around wearing my flip-flops and carrying a reusable grocery bag. She recently walked around the corner and I heard her say, “Dear Jesus, please help Abigail sleeping, grow”. So Lydia is joining you all in your prayers, all of which are edelweis to this Mommy’s heart.

Praise the Lord
We are thanking God for:
-a doctor who will consider our ideas
-no more feeding tube!

Please Pray:
-that Abby will do well off the fortifier and on a three-hour schedule
-that Abby will eat well and gain weight
-that Abby will spit up less and stool more
-that Abby’s hernia won’t be serious, painful, or become incarcerated
-wisdom for all the doctors involved