Abby Update: 79 Days Old

Posted on November 29, 2013 by justeeni

Gestation: 39 weeks, 6 days
Weight: 5 pounds, 9 ounces
Feedings: Working up to 60 ml of unfortified milk every three hours by bottle

Wednesday afternoon Abby had an upper GI done. There was some disagreement about whether to leave in her post-pyloric feeding tube or if that would mess up the reading, and eventually the neonatologists won against the surgery team and the tube was left in. The test confirmed the suspected diagnosis: pyloric stenosis.

Dan, Lydia and I were about to head out to Bible study when the surgery team came in and told us that the had actually been unclear because the feeding tube had been left in. However, they were able to feel Abby’s pylorus from the outside and confirm that it did seem enlarged and they agreed that she would need surgery. However, only one surgery team works on holidays and, as the next day was Thanksgiving, they said her surgery would take place on Friday (today).

Midway through Bible study Dan got a phone call from the pediatric surgeon. They had gotten Abby in for surgery the next day, despite the holiday. She was scheduled for surgery at 8 AM and would be taken down to anesthesia at 7:30. The surgery team would round at 6 AM to answer any of our questions.

We hurried home early from Bible study and went to sleep. At 3:30 AM we got a call from one of the residents expressing a concern that Abby wasn’t ready for surgery because her blood count was so low. Because they never had us sign any admittance papers when we arrived at the hospital (!) they had never received our permission to do a blood transfusion if it was necessary and so they had to call and get our permission. It was just last week that I spent an entire afternoon trying to convince the doctors that Abby needed to be on iron because she is anemic and they didn’t believe me. Now she was so anemic that they had to give her extra blood just so she could be stable enough for her surgery.

We agreed to the transfusion and headed in for a long day at the hospital. Just before Abby was taken in to the operating room, another baby needed an emergency surgery and we got bumped back a few hours. Finally, at 11:03 AM, Abby was in surgery.

We enjoyed a visit from Dan’s brother and sister-in-law while we waited the two to three hours it would take for Abby’s pylorus and hernia surgeries. After only 1 1/2 hours, the doctor called to say they were finished. He had warned us earlier that if anything went wrong they would quit the surgery early. So I tried not to freak out as we waited for the doctor to come out and talk to us. There was no need to worry though, because the surgery went great. They were able to do the pylorus and hernia laproscopically, which means they only had to make a few tiny incisions instead of one large one across Abby’s whole belly.

After enjoying a turkey dinner donated to the NICU by Zingerman’s, we hurried back to Abby’s room. She was still sleeping and looked like she had just gotten beat up. Her eyes were swollen, she had bandages on her belly and an IV in, and when she finally woke up she moaned like a wounded baby animal.

At 4 PM Abby was awake enough to try to eat. The plan was to gradually increase feeds starting with a small amount of unfortified milk until she could handle 60 ml. Any time Abby finished a feed without spitting up, her amount could be increased for the next feed. If she couldn’t finish or did spit up, we would have to stay at that amount until she could tolerate it. When she reached 60 ml, she would be ready (from a surgery standpoint) to go home. However, because Abby was a preemie, they would probably have to make sure she was gaining weight, introduce a fortifier, slowly wait to see if she could tolerate the fortifier in increasing amounts, and take care of any last “preemie things”.

The fortifier has always been a concern to us. I was concerned that Abby would make it to full feeds and then get stuck not tolerating a fortifier. Who knew how long it could take to figure out what would be best for Abby?

So here are Abby’s numbers. The goal is 60 ml every three hours:

4 PM : 3 ml
7 PM : 15 ml
10 PM : 3 ml
1 AM : 15 ml
4 AM : 25 ml, but she spit up
7 AM : 30 ml
10 AM : 45 ml
1 PM : 49 ml

Around noon the surgery team stopped by to tell me that Abby is doing great. Upon further questioning, our nurse found out that surgery was considering treating Abby like a “term” baby, which means she would not need a fortifier. Instead, she would have regular weight checks to make sure she was gaining weight once home, and add fortifiers only if necessary. Our nurse assured surgery that plan would be “perfect for this family”. So, once Abby pleases the team with her eating,she will be home free…maybe even this weekend!

Lydia, on the other hand, started throwing up last night and is now sick at home with Dan while I stay at the hospital (hence the lack of pictures). We would appreciate prayers that Lydia would recover quickly and that Dan and I would stay healthy.

Praise the Lord
We are thanking God for:
-Abby’s speedy and successful surgeries
-no fortifier!
-that Abby may come home soon

Please Pray:
-that Abby will be able to tolerate 60 ml…and soon!
-that Lydia would recover quickly and the rest of us would stay healthy

Abby Update: 54 Days Old

Posted on November 4, 2013 by justeeni

Gestation: 36 weeks, 2 days
Weight: Not sure…
Feedings: However much she wants by bottle

Between going to church and visiting Abby yesterday Lydia didn’t get laid down for a nap until well after 4:00. And when we did lay her down she was so overtired that she just cried and screamed. Finally I picked her up and sat with her curled up and sniffling in my lap as I rocked in the glider.

Overtired myself, I thought, “I can’t do this anymore.”

For a while my mind continued to list all of the things I have to do and how I just can’t take anymore. Then, it was almost like someone said to me, “What are you doing right now?”

Rocking Lydia.

Then that’s all you need to do.

And so, in a simple way I was reminded that God never promises strength in advance for everything we have to do next, but He certainly provides the strength we need for the moment. So Dan and I have been living lately, drawing moment by moment the strength we need from the only One who won’t ever run out.

Are you ready for a crazy weekend?

Friday, I left you all with Lydia sick and Abby about to get an abdominal x-ray. Thanks, I believe, to the goodness of God and lots of prayers, Lydia was sick and better all within three hours. It was a rough weekend keeping her out of the NICU, but it was really only for a couple of days and we made it through. Friday night was almost a disaster for me when Dan went to see Abby and I stayed home with Lydia. I decided it must be a crime to keep a parent from being allowed to see their baby. Lydia and I did some projects together to pass the time and ended up setting up Abby’s bassinet for when she comes home. We made it.

Abby’s x-ray was normal. However, she continued to spit up through the weekend, and she continued not stooling.

On Saturday, while Dan was helping feed Abby in the morning, she got her feeding tube out. Dan quietly suggested that if she was eating well maybe they would just leave it out this time. At the next feeding, the nurse put a new feeding tube in, but Abby promptly got that one out too. So they left it out! At 5:00 on Saturday night the doctor put in order that Abby was to be “Ad Lib”.

Ad lib feeding is usually the last step for NICU babies. It means they have taken their bottles well by mouth (Abby was at 74%) and are close to discharge. It’s usually only 24-48 hours before they go home, once they’re ad lib. During this time, babies can eat any time they are awake and looking hungry within 2-4 hours from their previous feeding time. While their amounts are still recorded, they can eat as much or as little as they want as long as they gain a decent amount of weight.

On Sunday, Abby had lost weight and still wasn’t stooling. She spit up at four feedings in a row. And no one was talking to us about discharge. So Dan and I sat down with a doctor and asked if Abby could just be taken off the fortifier. We did some research on the importance of supplementing calcium and phosphorus for preemies so that their bones mineralize well and we found one hopeful paper that suggesting fortifying is unnecessary. I’ll spare all of the details, but basically this whole topic of fortification is really unsure. Research hasn’t been going on long enough to determine if preemies who don’t receive the fortification may have weak bones as adults. Anyway, there seem to be pros and cons either way. Our doctor agreed to give Abby a trial off of any fortifier to see how she does. They’ll watch her calcium levels and weight gain in the process.

Then Dan and I found out that Abby might have been home by Tuesday as long as she had gained weight. This particular doctor (who is on all week) wasn’t concerned about her spit up or her lack of stools and thought she was ready to go. Dan and I quickly explained that we weren’t set on taking her off the fortifier. We just want our baby home! But the doctor seemed to think it was a good idea to try her off the fortifier and keep her in the hospital in the meantime.

Bummer.

Then we went on to tell us that a recent exam revealed that Abby has a left inguinal hernia. This is very common in men and in preemie boys (about 1/3 of preemie boys have a hernia), however it is less common in preemie girls. Of the 700-800 our NICU sees each year there are usually only one or two. So Abby decided to be one of the two this year. By tomorrow a pediatric surgeon will take a look at Abby and decide if she needs to have surgery quickly (this week) or if it’s less serious and we can wait a couple of weeks.

This weekend, more than ever, I have been tempted to “lose it”. That is why, as I was rocking Lydia Sunday afternoon, I wanted to say “I can’t take it anymore!” But we know that God is taking care of us, and of little Abby.

Hernia surgery, from my best understanding, isn’t too serious. But it is still surgery. We are eager to talk to the pediatric surgeon and find out more about how serious it actually is. Our neonatologist didn’t seem too concerned though.

Today we found out that Abby has been eating about every four hours. In all of her short little life, Abby has never been a very awake baby for feeding times. We always have to wake her up. You may remember our frustrations last week when our nurse wouldn’t give her a bottle because she always “looked sleepy”. We’ve slowly been assuring the nurses that Abby always looks sleepy but she still eats great. That in mind, we thought it might be nice to keep Abby on the three hour schedule. More frequent, smaller feeds might help with the whole spit up issue. And it’s what she’s been doing all along. Once again, our doctor said that sounded fine, so tonight we will switch back to a three-hour schedule and see how Abby does on that.

Between the three hour schedule and the unfortified milk, we are hoping Abby will have less spit up, more stools, and bette weight gain. As long as she is gaining weight, it is still possible she could come home this week. Or, it may take longer for clear results. Or, she may go back on the fortifier and we may have to wait to see how she transitions to that before taking her home.

I’m still trying to gather my edelweis. Right now Lydia is walking around wearing my flip-flops and carrying a reusable grocery bag. She recently walked around the corner and I heard her say, “Dear Jesus, please help Abigail sleeping, grow”. So Lydia is joining you all in your prayers, all of which are edelweis to this Mommy’s heart.

Praise the Lord
We are thanking God for:
-a doctor who will consider our ideas
-no more feeding tube!

Please Pray:
-that Abby will do well off the fortifier and on a three-hour schedule
-that Abby will eat well and gain weight
-that Abby will spit up less and stool more
-that Abby’s hernia won’t be serious, painful, or become incarcerated
-wisdom for all the doctors involved

10 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Marriage

Posted on August 28, 2013 by justeeni

Today Dan and I are celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary. So, in celebration mode, I thought I’d share 10 things I’ve learned in 3 years of marriage. (photo credit: Dan Carlson)

1. Respect is love

During our first months of marriage, Dan and I read a book together called Love and Respect. Through that book and our premarital counseling, I learned that the best way I can love Dan is by respecting him. What does that look like for us? (I’m all about the practical application) Well, Dan’s a visionary sort of fellow. So that means when he comes home and tells me his latest brilliant idea (that I may or may not think is brilliant), I don’t squash him like a bug! I listen and support his ideas, because I know I have a trustworthy husband who won’t put us into bankruptcy following some crazy idea he had during his lunch hour.

I can’t imagine any feeling better than the feeling of being loved, but for Dan, it’s the feeling of being respected. So, I can’t say I completely understand, but it really does work.

2. Physical exercise is to Dan what sleep is to a pregnant Justine

This is one I just figured out in recent months. For most of my pregnancy I’ve required a nap-a-day. Ok, so I can go one day without a nap and be alright. But give me two days in a row and I turn into a basket case. I just need the rest.

I used to get annoyed at how much Dan enjoyed exercise. Every single day he wanted to go lift weights or run or play a sport. When he started working full time, I realized that he starts to go crazy if he doesn’t get his exercise. So, I finally figured out that it’s not something to resent. I need my sleep and Dan graciously guards my naptimes. In turn, I’m learning to guard his exercise time.

3. Efficiency makes us a happy couple

Because Dan and I have one car, we usually do all of our grocery shopping on the weekends. For one semester, we had an arrangement where Dan was able to work out while Lydia and I did the shopping. In fact, Dan was so busy that semester that we had to do it that way. When the semester was over, I was thrilled to be able to have that shopping time with Dan once again. However, much to my disappointment, we seemed to get frustrated with each other during every single shopping trip. I figured out that Dan just felt like shopping was taking way longer than it should (even though it always took me that long). So, I decided to change things.

I started organizing my list in the order of the store aisles. We have a very particular route we take through each store now, every single time. On top of that, I planned far enough ahead so that we weren’t shopping at three stores in one weekend. I rotated every other week for two of the stores and bought things ahead of time.

Then Dan developed Super Shopper. It’s a simple, yet wonderful invention. I have an excel sheet where I keep a database of everything we’ve bought from three different stores. In the excel file, I list the items in order of our in-store route. When I make my grocery list (in totally random order), I run the program, and it automatically sorts my list by store and puts the items in the correct order for each store. This ingenious program took my grocery planning from over an hour to just minutes a week.

Efficiency saves me time during the week doing a chore I don’t enjoy much, it saves us time on the weekends so we can get in and out of stores crazy-fast, and it saves unnecessary tension and frustration between the two of us.

4. Love is doing what Dan loves

When we were first married, I would always try to make Thursday nights (our “date nights”) special by cooking some elaborate meal. Finally I figured out that Dan wasn’t big on elaborate meals. He much rather would have tacos or meat and potatoes than anything gourmet, and those things were easier for me to cook! Likewise, for my birthday a couple years ago I planned an elaborate surprise date night where we dressed up and ate a fancy meal in our apartment which I had decorated to look like a fancy private restaurant. It was fun, but afterwards I talked to Dan and found out his dream date with me would be to go to a Tigers game.

So I have learned and am learning, to love Dan by doing what he loves, not just what I love.

5. Love is loving what Dan loves

Like my last point, I have learned to love what Dan loves, even if it’s not necessarily my “cup of tea”. This is another recent lesson that I remember journaling about last anniversary. Dan was on a kick where he read the news every day and would come home and talk to me about it. I thought it was boring. Finally I realized we would both enjoy our dinners together much more if I actually made an effort to care about what he was telling me. Later the conversations switched from news to business ideas and more recently it’s been a lot of talk about Dan’s career. It’s not annoying anymore. I’m thankful that I have a husband who trusts me enough to tell me what’s on his mind, and I don’t ever want to risk shutting that out because the topic isn’t one I would have chosen on my own.

6. Research is in the job description

After Dan and I were married, I had one semester of college left. Once that semester ended, I became a full-time homemaker. Through some well suggested reading from ladies at church, I learned that being a homemaker is a real job and should be treated like one. Dan and I always joke that stay-at-home-moms sit at home all day eating bon bons. Then Dan tells me that I’m the best stay-at-home-mom because I don’t just eat the bon bons, I make them!

Joking aside, there is plenty to do around the home to stay busy and part of that job (a big part in my case) has been research: nutrition, pregnancy, parenting, budgeting, cleaning…the list could go on! Since I am a steward of my home, I want to make sure I’m doing my job well, not just going with the flow.

7. It’s ok to take a nap

That last point being said, I was a pretty driven homemaker and new mommy after Lydia was born. I felt like it would be lazy for me to take a break. After all, Dan doesn’t take a nap in the middle his work day. However, Dan also isn’t on call 24/7!

I’ve learned to take time out of the day to nap, rest, or at least relax. It makes for a happy wife when Dan gets home, which makes him a happier husband.

8. Having a preemie is more stressful than taking 19 credits at UofM any day

Dan and I don’t really fight. Our “fights” involve my being super sad and Dan being kind of distant until we can reconcile. But we had never had any of even these fights until Lydia was born. Through friendship, dating, engagement, wedding planning, and being married and in school full time we didn’t fight. When we got married, I had to take a bus every day to get to campus and stay until evening. We were super busy, super poor, and super happy.

The most stressful period of my life was my 19 credit semester at the University of Michigan, in engineering mind you! I would go home in tears regularly because I was so overworked and sleep-deprived.

But none of that comes even close to comparing with Lydia’s birth. For six weeks we dealt with postpartum emotions, going home every night without our baby, not getting enough food or rest, and to top it off, we had moved the weekend Lydia was born and hadn’t had a chance to unpack. That is when we had our first “fights”. (The best gift anyone ever gave me was when Dan’s parents and grandparents came home and completely moved us in about a week after Lydia was born)

Ladies and gentlemen, if you don’t handle stress well, I would advise you to never have a preemie. That being said, God helped us through that hard time and we made it and are stronger for it. And, I’m extra grateful to have a wonderful husband who did go through all of that with me, and who stayed with me and even tells me that he still likes me in spite of it all!

9. I will always love to hold his hand

When we were dating, Dan and I decided not to touch each other at all until we were engaged. Sure enough, when Dan proposed, I said yes, and he asked if he could put the ring on my hand. Many nights just before we fall asleep, Dan reaches over for my hand. Or while we are riding in the car, he’ll put his hand out to hold mine. Maybe I’m just a hand-holding sort of person, or maybe because of our history, it still always makes me grin.

10. It’s just better together

Each year I sit back and think to myself, “What is my favorite part of being married?” The answer has always been, “No more goodbyes!”. I just love being together every single day. Three years in and I still tell Dan I’ll miss him when he goes away to work, I still want to sit and watch when he plays sports, and I still look forward to Friday nights when Dan comes home and I get him for the whole weekend. Things just go better when we can be together.

Happy Anniversary, Love! It’s been three wonderful years, and I’m looking forward to many, many more.

Baby Update: 26 Weeks

Posted on August 23, 2013 by justeeni

Since I have not given any real pregnancy update on the blog yet, I decided to update you all from the beginning of the pregnancy up to the present.

In April, we announced to our family and friends, and then everyone else, that we are happily expecting Baby Number Two. May 1st was our first prenatal appointment and our first view of this little one. According to her size during that ultrasound, she is due on November 30th, although Dan and I suspect her actual due date may be a little earlier in November. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Here she is measuring less than 3 cm (just over an inch) at 9 ½ weeks gestation:

As Dan finished his last semester at Eastern, I was fighting more nausea than I ever had with Lydia. And I became an extremely picky eater. Of course, pickles and ice cream were my biggest cravings, but also macaroni and cheese (actually any sort of cheese), cinnamon rolls, and brownies. Lentils, broccoli, and salsa were absolutely revolting for those first few months.

Because Lydia had been born nine weeks early, I have an increased probability of having another preemie. And because Lydia had to spend her first six weeks in the hospital, and because that was one of the most difficult situations Dan and I have ever experienced, we were eager to do everything possible to prevent another early delivery. What can be done? Well, not much, to be honest. The doctors have been eager to keep an extra close eye on us, take lots of ultrasounds, and require extra visits. We have been prayerfully making our decisions as they come, and so far have found a pleasant balance of extra care and reasonability.

When I was twelve and a half weeks along, we went in for an intense ultrasound that was supposed to help determine our course of preventative treatment. Since things looked normal (as they always did with Lydia) we didn’t learn a whole lot from this one, but it was fun to see Baby again. Here she is, now just over 11 cm long (that’s almost 4 ½ inches):

One slight complication the ultrasound identified was that Baby’s umbilical cord is attached to the edge of the placenta, instead of being centered. From our best understanding, this usually doesn’t affect Baby, but there’s a “possibility”, say the doctors, that Baby could not get everything she needs through the cord to grow properly. The solution is to do lots of extra ultrasounds to see if she’s growing, and if not, deliver early. We’d rather not deliver early and certainly don’t plan on delivering so early that she couldn’t survive, so we have delayed these extra ultrasounds for the moment.

In July we had our big ultrasound, the one where we found out that Baby is a girl. For most of this one, she was all curled up, making the tech’s job pretty difficult. Here’s Lydia’s little sister when she was almost 20 weeks:

According to this ultrasound, Baby is big for her age, which is good considering the umbilical cord situation. It also supports Dan and my theory that the due date may be a little off. Most people expect their baby quite close to the due date, but with our suspicions combined with my history, we have no idea when Baby might surprise us!

The good news is that tomorrow I will be 26 weeks along, and 80% of babies born at 26 weeks survive. The rate goes up to 90% at 27 weeks and hits 95% by 28 weeks. Needless to say, we are thankful to be where we are! For those who are interested, September 27 would be the date when baby is as old as Lydia, when Lydia was born. So that’s the next big milestone. My personal goal is to make it to November 2, 36 weeks, which is when most babies can go home without time in the NICU and without developmental complications.

So, there’s a breakdown of our past 6 months as far as baby is concerned. Thanks to all who have prayerfully supported us through the pregnancy so far. We trust that this little one is in God’s hands, and will be born when He wants her to be. I’ve also had my moments of anxiety, convinced that Baby would “certainly be born any minute!”, but many praying ladies from church have lifted us up and those fears have been replaced with the peace that passes all understanding.

Baby Two, we love you and are so excited for when God does bring you into this world, though we hope it’s not too soon!

MI Taylor Family

We live in Michigan.

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Abby Update: 79 Days Old

Abby Update: 54 Days Old

10 Things I’ve Learned in 3 Years of Marriage

Baby Update: 26 Weeks